Monday, August 25, 2008

Things I've Learned From My Spam Box

So I'm almost sure someone I fired has signed me up for some sort of mailing list(s) because over the past month, my spam has gone from nearly 0 to at least 25 a day. Our IT swears they are trying to "work on it" Yeah ok...whatthefuckever!! So I figured I'd throw out a few things that I learned from my spam box today.

**18 yr old Christy, is the hottest porn star on the net!
Who knew? You go, Christy! and at the tender age of 18. man, just think where she'll be when she's 50!

**Enlarge Your Penis Now!
But it's so big already. Would that be fair?

**MILF mania is back again with these hot mom's videos!
I didn't realize it had ever left. I guess when MILFs get excited they forget how to spell.

**Firs time babes get banged good!
You’d hope so. It’d be a shame for the first time to be less than special.

**Get a $1000 gift card for Free. Pick a store in your area.
Wow! That sounds like a great deal. How about good vibrations?

**Daphne, The only cure for grief is action.
Hmmm…am I Daphne? Or is this just meant to be an abstract, poetic thing?

**Passion should last forever.
Yes, it really should. So often it doesn't though.

**Christy creams every time a guy turns her on!
That Christy again. Her pussy is like pavlov's dog. She’s so swampy she doesn't know "every time" is two words. She is dangerously close to a trademark suit from a donut company.

**Please your girl further! Enlarge your penis now!
Is that possible? To please her further, I mean. Kind of sounds like an order, and I don't like to be bossed around. What if I want to enlarge my penis later?

**Hank, Abstinence is the surety of temperance.
I'm not sure who hank is, but that sounds reasonable. I bet this guy voted for bush.

**We can propose you the optimum quality computer software.
Great, I've been waiting for someone to propose me some software. And coming from a guy named "Algernon Fkliraf" you know it's on the up and up.

**Economize 90 percents and much more on your recipes.
My recipes have been terribly un-economical lately. I've only been economizing 10-20 percents on good days. This is arriving just in time.

**You can refinance, even with bad credit.
I don't have anything to refinance. And I don't have bad credit. Has a nice direct, no bullshit tone though. gotta like that.

**No Fraud --- Real Science! Expand your penis.
The penis thing again. I'm starting to get a complex. I don't really need this, but if I did I would want it without fraud, and with lots of science...preferably the real kind.

**Any narcotics at 0.58Euro for dose.
Cool. If I decide to buy some narcotics I really want to pay for them in Euros, from a guy named "Hermann Werjsfiy".

**Get Your Degree In Criminal Justice.
Finally, a calling. OJ, watch out. You’ve played your last round of golf.

They just seem to keep coming, so maybe I'll update later.

1 comment:

LoraLoo said...

I got distracted once I read "Swampy". Ewwwwww. That's almost as bad as "Moist". That's a terrible word, moist. I wonder if you see that as a word to market cake mixes anymore? Heh.

Are you using Outlook? Cause if you are, you can do it yourself and let your IT guy get back to Warcraft.