see more Fail Blog
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Blog-er-ific
What's up peeps?! So I haven't blogged in a while and there's a multitude of reasons why. None of which really matter but what the hell, I'm gonna say 'em anyway.
I've been really busy, like no time in the day and when I do get time, I just wanna chill.
I've connected with a TON of old friends on Facebook and have shared story after story there and by the time blogging time rolls around, I got nuthin!
My evil, nasty, vile, ex wife checks up on me thru several outlets. I've blocked her on everything except for my blog. She's a freak and uses everything I say for her benefit. I dislike her so much, I kinda understand why OJ did it! HYPOTHETICALLY!!
My blog is listed on my myspace and facebook, so any of my friends can simply link to it. Now while I really don't care what people think about me, I'm having mixed feelings about being myself on my blog with the chance somebody with high, upstanding morals may read it and be offended....somebody I like and care about. We all know how I occasionally cut loose on here. Some people don't know that Randy.
I'm going to find a safe medium and get back to it. Then again I may just tell the safe medium to bite me and continue to do what I do when I want to do it....either way, it's time to re-kick start this bad ass blog and get back at it. Until then....CELEBRATE BITCHES, CELEBRATE!
I've been really busy, like no time in the day and when I do get time, I just wanna chill.
I've connected with a TON of old friends on Facebook and have shared story after story there and by the time blogging time rolls around, I got nuthin!
My evil, nasty, vile, ex wife checks up on me thru several outlets. I've blocked her on everything except for my blog. She's a freak and uses everything I say for her benefit. I dislike her so much, I kinda understand why OJ did it! HYPOTHETICALLY!!
My blog is listed on my myspace and facebook, so any of my friends can simply link to it. Now while I really don't care what people think about me, I'm having mixed feelings about being myself on my blog with the chance somebody with high, upstanding morals may read it and be offended....somebody I like and care about. We all know how I occasionally cut loose on here. Some people don't know that Randy.
I'm going to find a safe medium and get back to it. Then again I may just tell the safe medium to bite me and continue to do what I do when I want to do it....either way, it's time to re-kick start this bad ass blog and get back at it. Until then....CELEBRATE BITCHES, CELEBRATE!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Simply Classic...
Ok so I stumbled upon a comedy last month that I have now seen 5 times. It's, hands down, the funniest movie I've seen since SuperBad. It rapidly made it's way to my top 10 movies EVER. The Hangover is the #1 movie of 2009, hands down! If you haven't seen it, GO SEE IT, you'll be glad you did. My bachelor party was CLASSIC, in fact, it was the best part of my marriage...HOWEVER, if I ever get married again, THIS is exactly how I want my bachelor party to end up. Here's some clips...
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Great Big Globs Of Greasy, Grimy, Gopher Guts...
Dear Mound Makers,
Look, I am keenly aware that you were here prior to me buying the house. I am also aware that you were here before the house was built. This land is your land, I get that.
The thing is that I'm stressed out about you taking over my lawn. I don't give a mole's ass if you come up for air in the nooks and crannies of my yard. They're yours. But, please, for the sake of your well being, leave my lawn alone.
I've researched several solutions to our co-habitation challenge: however, experts agree that the only real solution is your complete, painful and immediate demise. I do have a trap out in the shed, in fact, it came with the house. I don't know if you or your friends have seen these things,they're terrifying. I'd be happy to show it to you if you'd like. I'll leave it by the large dirt mound (the one you favor) on my front lawn. Don't worry, I won't set it...THIS TIME; it's simply for display and educational purposes. Go ahead, touch it, get a feel for it. You know, I'll even leave a latte next to it so you can ponder your decision in comfort.
I'm hoping we can work this out in a civil fashion, and so, I would appreciate a meeting of the minds with those in charge. Yes, take me to your leader,the decision maker. Perhaps we can agree to a homeopathic solution; one that won't cause you any harm or discomfort or agonizing pain.
Please consider my offer and respond accordingly.
Civilly yours, THIS TIME
Property Owner
Look, I am keenly aware that you were here prior to me buying the house. I am also aware that you were here before the house was built. This land is your land, I get that.
The thing is that I'm stressed out about you taking over my lawn. I don't give a mole's ass if you come up for air in the nooks and crannies of my yard. They're yours. But, please, for the sake of your well being, leave my lawn alone.
I've researched several solutions to our co-habitation challenge: however, experts agree that the only real solution is your complete, painful and immediate demise. I do have a trap out in the shed, in fact, it came with the house. I don't know if you or your friends have seen these things,they're terrifying. I'd be happy to show it to you if you'd like. I'll leave it by the large dirt mound (the one you favor) on my front lawn. Don't worry, I won't set it...THIS TIME; it's simply for display and educational purposes. Go ahead, touch it, get a feel for it. You know, I'll even leave a latte next to it so you can ponder your decision in comfort.
I'm hoping we can work this out in a civil fashion, and so, I would appreciate a meeting of the minds with those in charge. Yes, take me to your leader,the decision maker. Perhaps we can agree to a homeopathic solution; one that won't cause you any harm or discomfort or agonizing pain.
Please consider my offer and respond accordingly.
Civilly yours, THIS TIME
Property Owner
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
My Apologies
So I've been CRAZY busy at work lately and by the time I get home, I'm just not in the "blogging" mood...That's my excuse!
Hopefully in a week or so, things will settle down and I can get back to it. I actually have a list with about 11 topics I need to rant about, so it's not lack of material...It's lack of motivation after working 12-14 hrs a day. Hang in there, I'll shake the funk SOON!!
Hopefully in a week or so, things will settle down and I can get back to it. I actually have a list with about 11 topics I need to rant about, so it's not lack of material...It's lack of motivation after working 12-14 hrs a day. Hang in there, I'll shake the funk SOON!!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Publishing TIFF
So my friend TIFF, who fully expects to be published on my blog, by the way, sent me this link today. Obviously she knows me pretty well because I LOVE this link! I couldn't agree with this guy more. Everything he writes here is EXACTLY how I feel about these various "fashion" fuck ups! So if you're offended....tough titty said the kitty when the milk ran dry.
And if you're an adult who wears crocs....go slam your head in a door RIGHT NOW!
HERE'S THE LINK...CLICK IT, DUMMY!
And if you're an adult who wears crocs....go slam your head in a door RIGHT NOW!
HERE'S THE LINK...CLICK IT, DUMMY!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Too EFFIN Funny!!
These 2 videos are HILARIOUS!! For all you douchebags out there, these are for you!
WATCH BOTH VIDEOS
WATCH BOTH VIDEOS
Friday, May 15, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Zach Bonner = AWESOME!!
I don't often copy world news into my blog and share it, but this HAD to be shared. It's a story about an 11 year old boy who is, in my eyes, a hero!
Florida boy, 11, walking to D.C. for homeless kids
TAMPA, Fla. – At age 11, Zach Bonner has already walked farther and done more for charity than many grown-ups.
Now he's about to make good on his vow to walk more than 1,200 miles from Tampa to Washington to bring attention to the plight of homeless kids in the United States.
The boy with the spiky red hair came up with the idea in 2007, then hiked nearly 300 miles from his home near Tampa to the state capital, Tallahassee. Last year, he walked another 270 miles or so from Tallahassee to Atlanta.
On Monday he'll set out for the final and most demanding leg of the journey, well over 600 miles from Atlanta to Washington. He figures it'll take about two months.
Zach expects to cover around 11 miles a day. Along the way, he'll collect donations and letters from people urging President Barack Obama to take more action to alleviate homelessness among children. He's contacted the White House about meeting with Obama, but has yet to hear back.
"I just decided I wanted to do something big," the soft-spoken fifth-grader said earlier this week.
Zach became a local celebrity of sorts at age 7 when he pulled his red wagon around his neighborhood collecting bottled water and food for victims of Hurricane Charley, which hit Florida in August 2004. He ended up sending 27 pickup truck loads of stuff.
Once he started helping people, especially kids, he couldn't stop. He put together and distributed about 1,200 backpacks full of toiletries, food and other necessities for homeless kids. Now he even has his own registered nonprofit charity, the Little Red Wagon Foundation Inc.
"My plan is to help as many kids as I can, have fun and keep it simple," he says on the Web site, http://www.LittleRedWagonFoundation.com.
President George W. Bush found out about Zach's work and gave him a Presidential Call to Service Award during a Tampa visit in 2006. Standing beside Air Force One, Bush shook the boy's hand and told him how proud he was.
Zach said he was inspired by a TV program about a peace activist named Mildred Norman, known as "The Peace Pilgrim," who walked back and forth across the country for 28 years. That's when the idea for the "My House to the White House" walk came to him.
"He told everybody before I had a chance to say no," said his mom, Laurie. "It's just him. It's who he is."
His long walk during summer vacation isn't expected to interfere with school.
A Tampa RV dealership is donating use of a motor home that Zach will sleep in and his mom will drive. His 21-year-old sister, Kelley, will be in a red Volkswagen Beetle decorated with the logo of his foundation. He'll try to get campground space and meals donated along the way. The trip is budgeted at $6,000.
The nonprofit Philanthropy Project has a film crew following Zach, too, and plans to make a movie about his life. British rock legend Elton John counts himself among Zach's fans and has pledged $25,000 to the boy's charity if he finishes the trek.
Staying away from the interstate highways, Zach's sojourn will take him through Greenville, S.C., Raleigh, N.C., and Richmond, Va. His progress will be charted on a Web site, http://www.zachtracker.com.
Once he gets to Washington around July 9, Zach will participate in activities at the Sasha Bruce House, an emergency shelter for homeless youth that Obama visited for a day of service before his inauguration in January. Some of the money Zach is raising will benefit the shelter.
"I'm excited," he said. "A little nervous, but pretty much excited."
By MITCH STACY, Associated Press Writer Mitch Stacy, Associated Press Writer – Fri May 8, 12:19 pm ET
Florida boy, 11, walking to D.C. for homeless kids
TAMPA, Fla. – At age 11, Zach Bonner has already walked farther and done more for charity than many grown-ups.
Now he's about to make good on his vow to walk more than 1,200 miles from Tampa to Washington to bring attention to the plight of homeless kids in the United States.
The boy with the spiky red hair came up with the idea in 2007, then hiked nearly 300 miles from his home near Tampa to the state capital, Tallahassee. Last year, he walked another 270 miles or so from Tallahassee to Atlanta.
On Monday he'll set out for the final and most demanding leg of the journey, well over 600 miles from Atlanta to Washington. He figures it'll take about two months.
Zach expects to cover around 11 miles a day. Along the way, he'll collect donations and letters from people urging President Barack Obama to take more action to alleviate homelessness among children. He's contacted the White House about meeting with Obama, but has yet to hear back.
"I just decided I wanted to do something big," the soft-spoken fifth-grader said earlier this week.
Zach became a local celebrity of sorts at age 7 when he pulled his red wagon around his neighborhood collecting bottled water and food for victims of Hurricane Charley, which hit Florida in August 2004. He ended up sending 27 pickup truck loads of stuff.
Once he started helping people, especially kids, he couldn't stop. He put together and distributed about 1,200 backpacks full of toiletries, food and other necessities for homeless kids. Now he even has his own registered nonprofit charity, the Little Red Wagon Foundation Inc.
"My plan is to help as many kids as I can, have fun and keep it simple," he says on the Web site, http://www.LittleRedWagonFoundation.com.
President George W. Bush found out about Zach's work and gave him a Presidential Call to Service Award during a Tampa visit in 2006. Standing beside Air Force One, Bush shook the boy's hand and told him how proud he was.
Zach said he was inspired by a TV program about a peace activist named Mildred Norman, known as "The Peace Pilgrim," who walked back and forth across the country for 28 years. That's when the idea for the "My House to the White House" walk came to him.
"He told everybody before I had a chance to say no," said his mom, Laurie. "It's just him. It's who he is."
His long walk during summer vacation isn't expected to interfere with school.
A Tampa RV dealership is donating use of a motor home that Zach will sleep in and his mom will drive. His 21-year-old sister, Kelley, will be in a red Volkswagen Beetle decorated with the logo of his foundation. He'll try to get campground space and meals donated along the way. The trip is budgeted at $6,000.
The nonprofit Philanthropy Project has a film crew following Zach, too, and plans to make a movie about his life. British rock legend Elton John counts himself among Zach's fans and has pledged $25,000 to the boy's charity if he finishes the trek.
Staying away from the interstate highways, Zach's sojourn will take him through Greenville, S.C., Raleigh, N.C., and Richmond, Va. His progress will be charted on a Web site, http://www.zachtracker.com.
Once he gets to Washington around July 9, Zach will participate in activities at the Sasha Bruce House, an emergency shelter for homeless youth that Obama visited for a day of service before his inauguration in January. Some of the money Zach is raising will benefit the shelter.
"I'm excited," he said. "A little nervous, but pretty much excited."
By MITCH STACY, Associated Press Writer Mitch Stacy, Associated Press Writer – Fri May 8, 12:19 pm ET
Monday, May 4, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Totally!!!
So my friend Tiff always send me some good shit in email, she's one of those people I can always count on for some quality vulgarity and otherwise offensive material. I totally cherish her mail.
So today I get an email from Tiff and she attached a video. Now when I opened the email Tiff wrote...
"ok, you know its bad when my friends know what youre like.... read below..."
So I scrolled down and her friend Marla sent her the video first and Marla wrote to Tiff...
"fipp, this reminds me of something your friend randy would do..."
So I'm like what the HELL?!?! And I'm chuckling because (A) It's cool that someone I have never met or spoken to had a moment of Randy in her head and (B) Because I absolutely know that whatever it is, It's totally gonna kick ass! So I opened the video and this is what played.......
Now I have to admit, not only have I already played that commercial in my head every time some new shit comes out that I have to go buy, but also every time I have to connect that new shit and learn how to use it...Only to not need it at all and barely use it. Not only that, but it's EXACTLY how I would do a commercial, If I had the power LOL...WORD FOR WORD!!!! So Marla was right LOL. Big up's to my friend Tiff and my new friend, Marla...Good lookin Out!!
So today I get an email from Tiff and she attached a video. Now when I opened the email Tiff wrote...
"ok, you know its bad when my friends know what youre like.... read below..."
So I scrolled down and her friend Marla sent her the video first and Marla wrote to Tiff...
"fipp, this reminds me of something your friend randy would do..."
So I'm like what the HELL?!?! And I'm chuckling because (A) It's cool that someone I have never met or spoken to had a moment of Randy in her head and (B) Because I absolutely know that whatever it is, It's totally gonna kick ass! So I opened the video and this is what played.......
Now I have to admit, not only have I already played that commercial in my head every time some new shit comes out that I have to go buy, but also every time I have to connect that new shit and learn how to use it...Only to not need it at all and barely use it. Not only that, but it's EXACTLY how I would do a commercial, If I had the power LOL...WORD FOR WORD!!!! So Marla was right LOL. Big up's to my friend Tiff and my new friend, Marla...Good lookin Out!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
His First 100 Days....FAIL!!
Obama's first 100 days = 12 billion dollars a day. Obama acting like the red headed stepchild when criticized = free. Proving the "messiah" don't walk on water...PRICELESS!
Cracks me up how the ignorance of numerous Americans allows them to support a guy who shakes hands with Hugo Chavez and bows to the Saudi President. Oh I'm sorry....it's "cool" to dig the "Hollywood President" because "everyone else does"
His address of his first 100 days was kindergarten like, it was almost sad. Then again, it was great to see him FAIL on an all new level. Way to completely avoid the issues on Pakistan HAHAHA! FAIL!!
Hey Obama....keep rubbing elbows with "the cool kids" hopefully they won't notice you're not a member of the club until the re-election. I'm not a follower of Fox News...BUT....Man do they nail it when it comes to this guy.
Cracks me up how the ignorance of numerous Americans allows them to support a guy who shakes hands with Hugo Chavez and bows to the Saudi President. Oh I'm sorry....it's "cool" to dig the "Hollywood President" because "everyone else does"
His address of his first 100 days was kindergarten like, it was almost sad. Then again, it was great to see him FAIL on an all new level. Way to completely avoid the issues on Pakistan HAHAHA! FAIL!!
Hey Obama....keep rubbing elbows with "the cool kids" hopefully they won't notice you're not a member of the club until the re-election. I'm not a follower of Fox News...BUT....Man do they nail it when it comes to this guy.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
I'm LOVIN' It...
So I recently learned that when I make a phone call to a land line, typically a business, my first and last name will appear on their caller ID. So I called T-Mobile and told them I wanted to block that and if they could assist me in doing so. It's not that I want to hide, I just don't think the corner pizza joint needs to know me THAT personally.
When speaking to the CSR at T-Mobile she informed me that I could change my caller ID to say ANYTHING I want....I laughed, and she immediately responded.."within reason, no vulgarities" I laughed again. I thought about the previous post I did and was going to make it say ILVTOFU and tell her I own a TOFU business...when in reality I just thought it would be cool if I called the corned pizza joint and that hot 18 or 19 year old answered she saw ILVTOFU and REALLY understood what I meant HAHAHAHAHA!!
But alas, I simply made it Randyz World. So now, when I hit up a land line that has called ID, they know what's up! I ooze awesomeness!!!
Hope you had a KICK ASS weekend!!
When speaking to the CSR at T-Mobile she informed me that I could change my caller ID to say ANYTHING I want....I laughed, and she immediately responded.."within reason, no vulgarities" I laughed again. I thought about the previous post I did and was going to make it say ILVTOFU and tell her I own a TOFU business...when in reality I just thought it would be cool if I called the corned pizza joint and that hot 18 or 19 year old answered she saw ILVTOFU and REALLY understood what I meant HAHAHAHAHA!!
But alas, I simply made it Randyz World. So now, when I hit up a land line that has called ID, they know what's up! I ooze awesomeness!!!
Hope you had a KICK ASS weekend!!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
By the looks of this TART....I don't think she meant TOFU either. I'm just saying
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
