NO Penis In My PORN

February 19, 2008

Ok so I have this rule, it's a rule set in stone and a rule that is never broken.....ever!! The rule states....There is no penis in my porn. Simply put, my porn consists of girl/girl or solo girl....hell even 3 girls, I've gone as far as a group of girls. But under no circumstance is there a penis in my porn. Let me explain why...

I only watch porn for 1 reason, to rub one out. Let's be honest here, when I put a porn movie in my DVD player, I'm in the mood for self gratification. Thing is, in the past when my porn collection was a cornucopia of content, the risk was always there....and as Murphy's law goes, the risk ALWAYS happened. What's the risk you ask? The risk is....if you allow penis in your porn, it is a guarantee that the moment you deliver the money shot, the camera in the porn you are watching will pan off of the lovely female you were so vigorously stroking your tool to, and pan directly on her male counterpart, not just on the guy himself, but directly to his cock and balls...you know the camera angle where the camera man has to contort himself in order to shove the camera in the guys taint and you blow your load staring straight at this guys hot mess. What a fucking let down

So one day I took every porn I had that had a penis in it and I chucked it right in the trash can. From that day forward.....I knew I could deliver the money shot in pleasurable confidence.