Friday, October 31, 2008

5 Jams On My iPod Today

Ok...Since it's Halloween, my all time favorite holliday...EVER!! I thought I'd let you in on my festive choice of music to get ready to go out tonight. NO!! I don't do dress up, but I do love Halloween and everything that goes along with it...IN THE ADULT WORLD!!

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Nightmare On My Street: C'mon now...tell me it's not a kick ass Halloween jam?!?!

Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt Kickers - Monster Mash:
NO Halloween is complete without the Monster Mash!

Korn & Marilyn Manson - Sleepy Hallow: This was a song I heard in the Haunted Forrest and I HAD to have it...creepy and KICK ASS!!

Michael Jackson - Thriller: Hands down the best video EVER made and the perfect Halloween jam.

Marilyn Manson - This Is Halloween: Because it's the BEST Halloween song...EVER!! And because Jack Skellington is the best character...EVER!!!!

*BONUS TRACK* The Adams Family Theme Song: Just because I like it..OK?!?!


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

5 Jams On My iPod Today

J. Holiday - Suffocate: Pretty good jam, something good to play when she's on top and you're going UUUGGGHHHHHH!!

Paramore - My Hero: Paramore's version of the Foo Fighters classic....To me Paramore does no wrong, so's good!

DJ Kalid, Trick Daddy, Rick Ross, Plies, T-Pain - I'm So Hood: For all you ghetto white boys who dream of being a brotha and claim Green Valley is the hood. Rock On!

Christina Aguilera - Dirty: Just because I wanna bang her and this video made me feel funny in my pants once.

Metallica - ONE: Enough said!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Another Monday......MUTE MY TV!!!

Ok...So I haven't watched Monday Night Football with sound in 3 years....seriously, it's muted...SERIOUSLY!!!

My fucking ears BLEED when I hear the voice of Tony Kornheiser. You know Tony...he's the third wheel in the booth with Tirico and Jaws. I swear to your God, the fucking guy hasn't said anything worth while, intelligent, or even remotely interesting...EVER! He tells these stupid jokes...circa 1940, has let a racial slur slip a time or two, and has completely destroyed ACTUAL NFL facts on a regular basis. He's fucked up facts so often that I actually believed someone was PUNKING him and feeding misinformation on purpose...NOPE!! He's just that god damn stupid. I'm baffled as to how or why he's even employed. I had to google him because I thought he must own ESPN or something because NOBODY would actually give this guy a job. You think Dennis Miller was bad on MNF? HA!! Tony Kornholio makes Dennis Miller look like John Madden in the booth.

So every Monday, even if it's a highly anticipated, good game on the schedule....I seriously get a little depressed because I know I'm either gonna skip it altogether OR watch it muted with my itunes playing. I'd rather jam a fucking fork in my eye than listen to Tony Kornheiser for 15 seconds. The guy has KILLED Monday Night Football....Now someone....PLEASE KILL HIM!!!!


Sunday, October 26, 2008

He's Cockblocking!!!

You're a really, really sweet girl. I knew when I met you at that party last year that you were different, but I wasn’t sure how. You were really hot, one of the only other sober people there, and you speak Spanish, which I enjoy thoroughly. We had a nice chat, I got your number and my friend Anne has emailed me no less than three times telling me you ask about me a lot. I was psyched to meet up with you the other night, and you looked so hot, again.

But your a Jesus freak. I mean, I know about the guy, and I think it's cool to have a spiritual side and all, but you're really all about him, aren't you? It took about 5 minutes for me to realize that we were going to talk about god all night. And I really tried to sympathize with your faith that Jesus gave you a second chance at life after a rough childhood. I was struggling to find encouraging things to say, and I held my tongue pretty well. But here's the deal:

I don't believe in god, babe. Nope, not even an inkling. I'm what you call an Agnostic, because your organization needs a word to describe people who don't believe what you believe. Agnostic is a newer, kinder word. I would have been a heretic, sinner, witch, blasphemer or Satanist had we met in another century, but now, I'm Agnostic. Or secular humanist, or, as I like to say, normal. And, sadly, you're in a cult. A Messianic cult, which may be better than some other cults, but it's still a cult, and you're completely brainwashed. I mean, there's very little room in your thinking for any kind of science, let alone philosophy or literature that isn't written in praise of your Leader, and that just sucks, conversationally speaking. I mean we can't really talk about anything without your ultimate arbiter coming into play, at which point the conversation is over. Here's an example from the other night:

Me: Yeah, there was another protest about same sex marriage downtown today, I checked it out.

You: Well homosexuality is a sin against god's plan, you know.

Me: Right. More wine?

What do I say then? You trump everything with the J man, and I have to change the subject, because to debate the issue is to bring up your faith, which is pretty much not debatable. I mean, sure, I could just say I believe this because a magic pie I worship tells me so, but where would that leave us? Pretty much right here.

The toughest part is, all of your holiness is really getting in the way of my porno titfuck fantasy of you. I mean, I really want to do this, it's completely absorbing my thoughts lately, but I feel like Jesus is standing between me and my desire to make love to your breasts. I can almost see his face right in your cleavage saying, No! You will not fuck these titties, non-believer! And all I want to do is defile you in every way possible, but your beliefs are really fucking up my plan.

So, since nobody really knows what Jesus would do anyway, I'm enlisting the Son of God to get me on your tits. And here's my plan: I'm going to play along with your Jesus land fantasy for a bit, and slowly convince you that, yes, Jesus wants us to get freaky. Any act that inspires you to yell his name in ecstasy HAS to be god's will. So, baby, let's fuck for Jesus.


Female Lead Singers

So I've never really been a fan of rock bands with female lead singers.....I mean since Heart and Fleetwood Mac pretty much set the standard, it's been a tough act to follow.

Then along came Evanescence and they were awesome. Solid music and a female lead singer, but the buck stopped there. I was sure that rock bands with female lead singers weren't for me, unless it was Heart, Fleetwood Mac, or Evanescence.......Then BAM! Flyleaf and Paramore hit the scene and I have to say that they are BOTH awesome!!!

So my faith in rock bands with female lead singers has been renewed, although I'm pretty sure these 5 bands will be VERY hard to top. Flyleaf and Paramore are so bad ass I actually BOUGHT their music, typically I just (shhhhh) illegally download all my music LMAO, but because I haven't heard a bad Flyleaf OR Paramore song yet, I felt I should invest. I'm definitely a fan!! But I will of right now, Flyleaf is my favorite rock band with a female lead singer...they just kick ass!!

Here are my favorite Flyleaf and Paramore songs....enjoy!!

Flyleaf - I'm So Sick

Paramore - CrushCrushCrush

Friday, October 24, 2008

Super Troopers Kicks ASS!!!

So I watched Super Troopers today and I haven't watched in a while, and I don't know why because it's one of the funniest movies EVER!! I'd have to rank it right up there with Superbad and The Burbs as one of my all time favorite comedies. It's hilarious and always guarantees a laugh. So if you've never seen it...GO GET IT!!! You can thank me later.

Here's a couple clips....

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Yeah....So! Get Over It!!!

Ok so it's no secret that I am probably the most unfiltered, inappropriate person you know. I find humor where others (the uptight people) don't. I laugh at things that make most people shriek. I mean who gives a fuck anyway? At some point, everyone gets made fun of. To me, the NORMAL ones know how to laugh at it and find it's humor, the others.....well they're just simple minded folk who need an enema!! Because let's face it....Life without laughter is basically death. So whatever makes you laugh, stand by it and own it...Don't feel bad because what made you laugh may offend someone else...Like the old saying goes...Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

So I was driving home from work and decided I wanted to laugh. To put myself in a good mood. I have several different comedians in my collection for whatever your taste may call for. Today it was Sarah Silverman. The chick is wildly inappropriate and so NOT politically correct and I find her to be one of the funniest people alive. Here's a couple clips of her.....If you find them funny, great....if not......nobody really gives a shit, broaden your horizons and lighten the fuck up a bit. Lifes 1 big joke and you just haven't gotten it yet.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

TBS Announcers SUCK!!!

Ok so my Red Sox are losing big.....AGAIN. It's 11-1 in the 6th. So if that's not painful enough, the jackass announcer has to throw in, right before the break......The "Boston Massacre will continue when we return" What an asshole....I hope he gets dick cancer!!! Why does everyone hate the Red Sox? You're all supposed to hate the Yankees!!!! How can you hate a team that has STEPHEN KING as a fan?


Saturday, October 4, 2008