Wednesday, April 29, 2009

His First 100 Days....FAIL!!

Obama's first 100 days = 12 billion dollars a day. Obama acting like the red headed stepchild when criticized = free. Proving the "messiah" don't walk on water...PRICELESS!

Cracks me up how the ignorance of numerous Americans allows them to support a guy who shakes hands with Hugo Chavez and bows to the Saudi President. Oh I'm's "cool" to dig the "Hollywood President" because "everyone else does"

His address of his first 100 days was kindergarten like, it was almost sad. Then again, it was great to see him FAIL on an all new level. Way to completely avoid the issues on Pakistan HAHAHA! FAIL!!

Hey Obama....keep rubbing elbows with "the cool kids" hopefully they won't notice you're not a member of the club until the re-election. I'm not a follower of Fox News...BUT....Man do they nail it when it comes to this guy.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

I'm LOVIN' It...

So I recently learned that when I make a phone call to a land line, typically a business, my first and last name will appear on their caller ID. So I called T-Mobile and told them I wanted to block that and if they could assist me in doing so. It's not that I want to hide, I just don't think the corner pizza joint needs to know me THAT personally.

When speaking to the CSR at T-Mobile she informed me that I could change my caller ID to say ANYTHING I want....I laughed, and she immediately responded.."within reason, no vulgarities" I laughed again. I thought about the previous post I did and was going to make it say ILVTOFU and tell her I own a TOFU business...when in reality I just thought it would be cool if I called the corned pizza joint and that hot 18 or 19 year old answered she saw ILVTOFU and REALLY understood what I meant HAHAHAHAHA!!

But alas, I simply made it Randyz World. So now, when I hit up a land line that has called ID, they know what's up! I ooze awesomeness!!!

Hope you had a KICK ASS weekend!!

Saturday, April 25, 2009


By the looks of this TART....I don't think she meant TOFU either. I'm just saying

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Picture Blog

Some friends and I are involved in a "picture blog" It's a place to check out some really cool pics taken on the go, from people all over. You should definitely check it out.

On The Go Photo Blog

Mobile Uploads About Your Views Throughout The Day!

On The Go Photo <--- Click The Link!

Thursday, April 16, 2009


So I stumbled across this picture yesterday and couldn't help but laugh. It pretty much sums up my feelings on marriage altogether. I'm thinking that whenever this facility was built and then occupied...Someone had some inside info when they started renting office space out.


Sunday, April 12, 2009

iPod meme

So my friend LISA posted this on HER BLOG and tagged me, so I figured I better get it done. I'm hoping some GOOD songs pop up in the 10, my luck the 10 songs I'd never admit to listening to will be popping up....Here we go

* Using the shuffle feature on your iPod (or other MP3 player), write down the first 10 songs that play.

* Don't be a PUNK and skip songs to find something better. If it pops up, it's in the 10

* Justify, defend or explain why those songs are on your iPod.

* Tag someone else to complete the meme.

If you don't have an iPod or similar device: You’re a loser.

1. Sheryl Crow - Good is Good...I've always been a fan of her work. She makes music that you feel, not just hear. So yeah, I'm a Sheryl Crow fan.

2. Diary - Alicia Keys...I've found that when listening to Alicia Keys, you can't find a bad song. She's got range too, not just R&B but faster and harder music. Did you hear her in the Quantum of Soalce song with Kevin White? Good stuff.

3. DMX - X Gonna Give It To Ya...DMX is the artist I use when I'm pumping up, when I need to be in a certain zone and when I'm just flat out pissed off. His aggressive music is just what the doc ordered. DMX is in my top 10!

4. Sarah Bareilles - Love Song...Look, I knew this was going to happen, all the stuff that I DON'T want people to see LMAO. I dig Sarah Bareilles, she's got good stuff, and this song was just catchy as hell, so whatever!

5. Paramore - Hallelujah...Paramore is one of my favorite bands. They haven't made a bad song yet.

6. Nickleback - Savin' Me...I wasn't a huge Nickleback fan until I went to see them in concert when I lived in Seattle. They played for over 4 hours and rocked the house, I was hooked that night!

7. Chris Brown Feat. T-Pain - Kiss Kiss...It was a good song, what can I say LMAO...besides, T-Pain is pretty bad ass.

8. Metallica - The Struggle Within...FINALLY!! Some of my better stuff. What else can be said, Metallica is EFFIN BAD ASS, no matter what song it is...I'm a bigger fan of their older stuff...late 80s early 90s. The song ONE is probably the best song ever recorded by ANY band.

9. Garth Brooks - What She's Doing Now...Look, I don't do a lot of country, but there's this whole portion of my life linked to Garth's music..from lost love to best friends. I lived through some stuff and it was all while listening to everything Garth.

10. Marilyn Manson - Tainted Love...One of the few remakes I actually LOVE. I can see an argument for the remake being better than the original. I dig Marilyn!

Ok....So there's my 10 and I TOTALLY did it the honest way, not skipping anything for something better. I'm just glad the Colby Caillat and Corrine Bailey Rae didn't pop up LMAO....Oh, and the Katy Perry. I was hoping for some Rage Against The Machine, since they're my favorite band but oh well...Kiss, Def Leppard, Van Halen...none of the solid stuff popped up, but that was expected.

Ok, so now I'm tagging 2 people...LORA and NIKKI. Have fun!!

Friday, April 10, 2009


I know it may make me evil...but I find this almost uncontrollably hilarious! Like make my side hurt from laughing so hard, funny!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

10 Items or Less

I’ve tried to simplify it. But I just don’t think they can make that message any clearer than it already is: 10 Items Or Less. It seems fairly self-explanatory, so where’s the confusion? What, exactly, do some of you think that sign says?

10 Items Or Less (except for you)
10 Items Or Less (just kidding)
10 Items Or Less (unless you have deemed yourself more important than everybody else on the planet)

Okay, maybe you can’t count. Well, I have a solution for that: DON’T GO TO THE GROCERY STORE ALONE. Now, I want to be perfectly clear on this point, so pay attention: If you cannot accurately count to ten you should not be allowed to leave your house without adult supervision. Got it? Good.

But you say you know how to count and how to read, you just choose to ignore the well-lit, strategically-placed 10 Items Or Less sign? Well then you belong in the same category as those assholes who think there should be valet parking at Olive Garden. And those people do exist, I’ve seen them.

And don’t tell me you don’t get it. I’ve been to plenty of grocery stores, in plenty of states. And every last one of them had a 10 Items Or Less lane. So the wolves who raised you must have kept you under a pretty big rock if you can’t get on board with this idea: 10 Items Or Less means 10 Items Or Less. Period. End of discussion. Let someone in with 11 items and you will find yourself on a very slippery slope, my friend.

And for those of you ready to pull the language card: forget about it. 10 Items Or Less translates (more or less). En español: 10 artículos o menos. Auf deutsch: 10 punkte oder weniger. På norsk: 10 Ting Eller Mindre. Did you notice anything? A pattern perhaps?

The number 10. Not 13, not 14, not 15, and because it’s not the “Divisible By 10” lane, 20—the very concept of 20—makes my brain hurt. And don’t insult my intelligence, I’m not stupid (I may have too much time on my hands, but I’m not stupid), don’t even try to put one of those little dividers between items 1–10 and 11–20. That molded piece of plastic doesn’t impress me and it doesn’t change a damn thing.

And now for the cashiers: listen up because you have a hand in this mess too. I realize that being a grocery store cashier may not afford you the same power as, say, being the Pope, but you have got to seize opportunities where you can. Put your foot down and OWN that rule your world!

The Express Lane can be a daunting and demanding mistress, after all it’s your deft agility and fierce commitment to getting me out of that store as fast as humanly possible that got you to the Express Lane in the first place. You don’t ask how I am or how my day was, mostly because you couldn’t care less—but more importantly, you don’t ask because you are focused. Focused on not seeing me for one second longer than is absolutely necessary.

And I love you for that.

So dammit, grab that Express Lane by the balls and don’t let go. You can’t let the inmates run the asylum. If you see someone coming at you with a basket so woefully overloaded that one shoulder may permanently hang lower than the other, take a stand. By God, put your foot down and end this madness. Believe me, I’ve got your back. I also have a 6-pack of Guinness and new razor blades that I am not afraid to use.

Saturday, April 4, 2009


I don't get very much spam in my email, I take precautions to keep my inbox and spam box fairly empty. I use my personal email for emails between friends and colleagues and never use it for internet websites...except something like facebook, twitter, etc. Basically personal networking sites. I have another email I use to float around the web....and it breaks spam records, last I checked there were something like 4600 messages in the spam folder....ANYWAY, back to why I'm posting....I got some spam today in my personal email

On Sat, Apr 4, 2009 at 5:34 PM, Senator David Mark wrote:


This is to officially inform you that(ATM Card Number;(5179123456789120)
has been accredited in your favor.Your Personal Identification Number is
The ATM Card Value is $6.8 MILLION USD.You are advice to contact
Mr Jeffery Simpson via Email( with the

Full Name:
Delivery Address:
Phone Number:

Please Note that you are to pay the sum of $85 USD for the delivery of
your ATM Card by FedEx Courier Express

Best Regards,
Senator David Mark.

So I wanted to post immediately and let everyone know that since I just became a millionaire, I'm not sure how much I'll be posting from now on.....SERIOUSLY? What baffles me is that emails like this are still sent, what floors me is....People who ACTUALLY believe them. Being that I have been on the internet regularly since like 1995, emails like these don't even catch my attention, this one slipped into my personal inbox. I have to ask....Do any of my fellow bloggers or anyone reading this......Do you fall prey to scams like this? Do you forward chain letters because if you don't you'll receive 7 years bad luck? I still have the occasional friend forward me something and it BAFFLES me...Anyway, if someone else would like to claim my credit card for 6.8 million dollars, feel free...I'm just that generous!

Friday, April 3, 2009


I don't like the fact my kids are getting older. I have a 12 1/2 year old daughter that wants to gauge her ears and I keep trying to make her think, "What is the FIRST thing I want people to think when they see me?" Because, baby, if you gauge your ears then you will NEVER get the chance to recover from the instant judgment that will be passed upon you by most of society that is OUTSIDE your own age bracket.

But this isn't about ear gauges; it's about similar expressions of creativity and individuality.

It is both a Rant AND a Rave. And it's long. I have a great combination going on right now of passion for the subject and total boredom with whatever else I should be doing.

So for what it might be worth to you, here is the same advice I give EVERYONE that's contemplating their first tattoo.

1. Be sober. Stone. Cold. Sober. Period!

2. Research beforehand. Meaning, watch the artist work, check out samples of their work. Make sure their place is clean. If you wouldn't sit down there and eat a burger, leave immediately.

3. If you're going to get something written in a foreign language, have someone of that nationality (someone that you TRUST) write what you want FOR you and bring it to the artist. Alternatively you can have that person go with you so they can translate what you see before you get inked. Otherwise, you could end up with a tat on the back of your neck that you THINK says "I love my mother" but you're constantly getting your ass kicked because it really says, "I Banged Your Mother".

4. Make sure you chose something that means something to you, not some trendy thing you're constantly going to have to explain once that fad passes. For those of you old enough to remember imagine if you had...say...Jem from Jem and the Holograms in portrait style...across your back. Yeah. SEE!?!

5. I used to make this "point #4A" since it is so closely related. But about 5 years ago I decided it is probably THE single most important thing I say to prospective ink recipients so it gets its very own number now. In regards to things that REALLY mean something to you...and this is IMPORTANT: ***never, never never never NEVER NEVER NEVER put someone else's name, initials, portrait etc. on your body to whom you are not related BY BLOOD. EVER. Never. Did I say never? Okay, we covered that.

6. Put it someplace that the whole world isn't going to see it, because later, you may not be so thrilled (now proceed to #7 because it's relevant, I swear).

7. Most people find that once they get "my first tattoo" they either regret it instantly and start wondering "is there a way to get rid of it?" OR they love it and almost instantly start thinking "my next tat's gonna be...." So become comfortable with the notion of having multiple tattoos before you get your FIRST tattoo. Or don't get any at all.

8. Make sure you have plenty of money and a high tolerance for pain. A good tat shouldn't BE cheap, man. You are paying an artist for a permanent piece of art. If that person is doing the drawing for you then it's twice the work of art. If you want a cheap mass production, then by all means, go to the Wal-Mart of tattoo studios outside the back gate of the nearest Basic Training camp and pay $40 for the same thing that FOUR THOUSAND other dudes JUST LIKE YOU have *See caveats before you jump on me about Unit Crests and the like. Anyway, the reason you need to have the money and the tolerance for pain is not necessarily for GETTING the tattoo, it is just in case you fall in the first group from #7. Because, for you folks, removal is an option but it is not cheap, it is NOT pain free and it will probably leave a scar that ranges in severity from " that a scar right there? I've never noticed that before" to somewhere in the neighborhood of, "Holy SHIT! Were you NAPALMED as a child!?!" (As a bonus, though, IF you followed the advice in #6, no one ever has to see the scar unless you let them because YOU were smart enough to put your first tat someplace discreet.)

Okay, for the caveats: No, I am not a tattoo artist. Yes, I have multiple tattoos. 6 have been inked but one's a cover up (that's how #5 got its very own number). For those of you sporting the Double A's of the 82nd, or the Head of the Screamin' Eagle or something similar, ROCK ON. That doesn't fall into the "cheap mass production" category it falls into the "means something special to me" category. (For the record, YOUR double AA's, Screamin' Eagles, Ranger Tabs, etc. mean something special to me when I see them also.)

The thing about MY tats though is that NONE OF THEM is in a readily visible area. I have none on my hands, wrists, neck, face, etc. I have 2 on my upper arms, 2 on my legs, and 2 on my back. I wear pants, and rarely the sleeveless shirt. You wouldn't know I have tats unless I want you to know.My point is, unless you want to spend your life working with inanimate objects, or you are Blessed to be talented as a clothing or interior designer, or capable as a chef, blah blah blah...then you better LIKE living in squalor because you're going to have slim pickings in the job market because people ARE judgmental. If you have studs in your face and tattoos across your neck and are up against an equally qualified candidate that appears "Clean Cut" the dude may very well be a scum bag, but he'll win because all they see is your adornments.

Being the Father of a teenage daughter these days, is challenging, to say the least. You can be a free spirit and you can be an individual without compromising your ability to make a good first impression. READ THAT AGAIN!!! You can be a free spirit and you can be an individual without compromising your ability to make a good first impression.

So, to my baby girl, when you're 18 you'll be allowed to do whatever you want. And I will just have to hope that you heed my words and you make a good decision. If so, we'll go see if ADRIAN is still working at FANTASY TATTOO in THE U DISTRICT and if he's there, then I will leave you in his highly skilled hands and you will be free to get whatever ink you want. But until you are 18 NO INK and NO GAUGING.

And that's my take on Tattoo decisions. Now excuse me while I go beat my head against a wall....Just yesterday my children were small, and cuddly, and they only wanted cartoons and food