Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Big 40

So I am sitting here thinking WOW in less than a month I'll be 40. FOUR ZERO!!! I just can't fathom being 40 years old. I still feel 25, I'm told I look significantly younger than I am, I still get carded. I just don't FEEL 40.

Looking back, I remember thinking, no way I'll ever be THAT old. Some of the stunts I pulled in my youthful years I was told, you'll never see 40 if you keep that up. I went to war while in the military and was afraid, I want to see 40. So now here I am....21 days away from my 40th birthday and all I can think is...where the hell did 39 years go?

I think reconnecting with so many friends from my past has really opened my eyes to the fact that we're all getting older. I am thankful for such good genes and the ability to NOT look or feel my age, unlike some others....Some of you haven't aged well at all LMAO I still got love for ya though. Hey, this is my blog and I can say you look like 10 miles of bad road if I want to....At least I didn't name any of you.

In my honest opinion, age is just a number anyway. What matters is how you FEEL. So to all of us out there pushing 40 or have passed 40, here's to us! We still got it. Don't let anyone make you feel less. The haters are just mad 'cause they can't look THIS good HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Here's to my awesome kids...Dominic 16, Brooke & Gabrielle 13. My Dad who is still alive & well at 65 and all of my friends & family who have put up with all of my shit for 40 years and still tell me they love me and are proud of me. To my job that has taken care of me and dealt with me and still wants me running things after 14 years, and even after I piss off their customer....regularly! I love you all.

Randy Age 2


Monday, October 19, 2009

What would YOU Do?

So a while back a friend of mine told me that he was "involved" with his boss, in a romantic way. The FIRST thing I told him "Don't shit where you eat". Needless to say, he didn't listen. So NOW....He has all this drama in his life, that sucks for him because he was...err, ummm...IS really good at his job. The story goes like this....

A few months ago his boss started "flirting" with him, she's also the owner of the place he works. She's married (yikes) and he's single. Anyway they have been doing this whole "sexting" thing, you know...where you get all freaky in text, nasty shit and the pictures to go with it. As far as physical contact, he sort of denies it, but it's obvious there's been contact. I'm thinking like wild sex one night, then the next day they were both like, maybe if we don't talk about it, it never happened...ya know?

Well over time, I guess she became all weird and possessive and started treating him like a boyfriend at work, instead of treating him like an employee. Sorry ladies but we all know you go fucking mental over guys and can't EVER keep shit separate. Anyway, he was dealing with her being all chick-ish at work and decided to tell her that he wanted to stop the whole thing....YEA, I KNOW...big mistake....sorry ladies but we all know you go mental over shit like that as well, please don't go all "no I don't" on me, because YOU DO! So he attempts to break it off, or at the very least, put it on the back burner because she obviously couldn't keep work and personal separate. Well it's no secret what happened next, even the chicks reading this right now KNOW she didn't handle it KNOW I'm right.

So in the wake of him telling her he wanted to stop, or put it on hold, or slow down, or whatever, some really unpleasant shit has flowed his way. First she came up with some random, off the wall sexual harassment of another employee thing, when he showed PROOF that she was lying, she went into this whole forced time off thing and now, apparently, he's unemployed or gonna be transferred, or is in limbo. He was a stellar employee for his company, never did anything wrong from what I understand, and now...because a chick is a chick...he's out of work.

He stopped by today to look for options, unfortunately I don't hire friends and I keep my work shit separate from my personal shit at ALL times. I feel kinda bad for him because I know for a fact he was awesome at what he did. So now on to my question of the day... he tells me today that he has all of these naked pictures of her and some really explicit text. He said he is going to send the pictures to EVERYONE he can think of. To the corporate office of the company, to her husband, to employees, and apparently her husband has been in the news recently for something or other and he even wants to send the pictures and text to the news. Basically anyone that knows or has heard of this chick is about to see her naked and read her dirty little fantasies. I laughed when he told me, but I'm an asshole and I'd probably do the same thing if I were in his shoes and was fucked over by a chick being a chick. He was all should totally blog about this, so here I am.

My question is....would YOU do what he's planning to do?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I'm In A Mood....Deal With It!

And I feel like ranting, it's my blog and I'll do what the fuck I like...GOT IT!

A. Bad Drivers. I don't care about your race. I don't care if you're male or female. If you have a license, just learn how to fucking drive. It's really not that difficult, people. Green means go. Yellow means "slow down". Yellow does NOT mean SLAM ON YOUR FUCKING BREAKS with three cars behind you. If one more person does this to me, so help me I will not only not stop, but I will gun my engine and purposely smash into you. Repeatedly. And I will make sure to decapitate your stupid Oakland A's bobble-head in the process. Now, a red light means STOP - but I know this can be a bit tricky. Try real hard to stop BEFORE YOU ENTER THE INTERSECTION. Here's a little hint: If the car AHEAD of you is blocking the intersection, pulling up behind that car probably isn't the brightest idea. If you end up sitting in the middle of the intersection, blocking cross-traffic ... it's open season on you, my friend. Anyone who's had "one of those days" should be free to ram your stupid, gridlock-creating, worthless ass at will.

B. Cell-Phone Abusers. Look, I have one. It's convenient. But there is a time and a place. It's called common sense. Let me break it down for you. Ask yourself these questions: Am I watching a movie? Am I eating in a decent restaurant? Am I driving? If the answer is yes, don't even THINK of flipping that fucking phone. And turn off or change your stupid-assclown Beethoven's 5th polyphonic ring-tone. Nobody thinks you are sophisticated, or smart. Quite the contrary, we all think you're a complete douchbag, and sincerely want to slowly stab you in the eye with a fork.

C. Not so much a problem for me anymore, but nonetheless...Chatty Taxi Drivers. Just shut the fuck up and DRIVE already. Really, there is no need for you to even speak to me. I tell you where I want to go. You drive there. The little meter tells me how much I owe you when we arrive. Absolutely no need for conversation. A little tip: When I haven't responded to your repeated attempts at "small talk" - might be a pretty good indication I'm not interested in talking with you. If you continue to talk, don't be surprised when I reach through the Plexiglas opening and choke you out with my forearm.

5. Complicated Coffee Order-ers....FUCK I HATE THESE PEOPLE.. I know you think it's really "hip" to order a "triple, no foam soy latte with one pump of sugar-free vanilla swirled" in a green cup and with a insulator and 2 straws -- but get over your fucking self already. It's coffee, not a five course meal.

6. Chain Email forwarders. DUDE, SERIOUSLY?!?!. I think you are an idiot. I think I want to ram my keyboard through your teeth, those chain-emails that instruct me to "forward 7 times, and the one I love will come back" -- those are even better. Those are fantastic. Next time you send me one of those, how about I just smash your face with my stapler 7 times, and see if you come back?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


OMG I laughed so hard on this that I think I broke something. HAHAHAHAHA

fail owned pwned pictures
see more Fail Blog

Friday, August 14, 2009


What's up peeps?! So I haven't blogged in a while and there's a multitude of reasons why. None of which really matter but what the hell, I'm gonna say 'em anyway.

I've been really busy, like no time in the day and when I do get time, I just wanna chill.

I've connected with a TON of old friends on Facebook and have shared story after story there and by the time blogging time rolls around, I got nuthin!

My evil, nasty, vile, ex wife checks up on me thru several outlets. I've blocked her on everything except for my blog. She's a freak and uses everything I say for her benefit. I dislike her so much, I kinda understand why OJ did it! HYPOTHETICALLY!!

My blog is listed on my myspace and facebook, so any of my friends can simply link to it. Now while I really don't care what people think about me, I'm having mixed feelings about being myself on my blog with the chance somebody with high, upstanding morals may read it and be offended....somebody I like and care about. We all know how I occasionally cut loose on here. Some people don't know that Randy.

I'm going to find a safe medium and get back to it. Then again I may just tell the safe medium to bite me and continue to do what I do when I want to do it....either way, it's time to re-kick start this bad ass blog and get back at it. Until then....CELEBRATE BITCHES, CELEBRATE!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Simply Classic...

Ok so I stumbled upon a comedy last month that I have now seen 5 times. It's, hands down, the funniest movie I've seen since SuperBad. It rapidly made it's way to my top 10 movies EVER. The Hangover is the #1 movie of 2009, hands down! If you haven't seen it, GO SEE IT, you'll be glad you did. My bachelor party was CLASSIC, in fact, it was the best part of my marriage...HOWEVER, if I ever get married again, THIS is exactly how I want my bachelor party to end up. Here's some clips...

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Great Big Globs Of Greasy, Grimy, Gopher Guts...

Dear Mound Makers,

Look, I am keenly aware that you were here prior to me buying the house. I am also aware that you were here before the house was built. This land is your land, I get that.

The thing is that I'm stressed out about you taking over my lawn. I don't give a mole's ass if you come up for air in the nooks and crannies of my yard. They're yours. But, please, for the sake of your well being, leave my lawn alone.

I've researched several solutions to our co-habitation challenge: however, experts agree that the only real solution is your complete, painful and immediate demise. I do have a trap out in the shed, in fact, it came with the house. I don't know if you or your friends have seen these things,they're terrifying. I'd be happy to show it to you if you'd like. I'll leave it by the large dirt mound (the one you favor) on my front lawn. Don't worry, I won't set it...THIS TIME; it's simply for display and educational purposes. Go ahead, touch it, get a feel for it. You know, I'll even leave a latte next to it so you can ponder your decision in comfort.

I'm hoping we can work this out in a civil fashion, and so, I would appreciate a meeting of the minds with those in charge. Yes, take me to your leader,the decision maker. Perhaps we can agree to a homeopathic solution; one that won't cause you any harm or discomfort or agonizing pain.

Please consider my offer and respond accordingly.

Civilly yours, THIS TIME

Property Owner

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My Apologies

So I've been CRAZY busy at work lately and by the time I get home, I'm just not in the "blogging" mood...That's my excuse!

Hopefully in a week or so, things will settle down and I can get back to it. I actually have a list with about 11 topics I need to rant about, so it's not lack of material...It's lack of motivation after working 12-14 hrs a day. Hang in there, I'll shake the funk SOON!!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Publishing TIFF

So my friend TIFF, who fully expects to be published on my blog, by the way, sent me this link today. Obviously she knows me pretty well because I LOVE this link! I couldn't agree with this guy more. Everything he writes here is EXACTLY how I feel about these various "fashion" fuck ups! So if you're offended....tough titty said the kitty when the milk ran dry.

And if you're an adult who wears crocs....go slam your head in a door RIGHT NOW!


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Too EFFIN Funny!!

These 2 videos are HILARIOUS!! For all you douchebags out there, these are for you!


Sunday, May 10, 2009

Zach Bonner = AWESOME!!

I don't often copy world news into my blog and share it, but this HAD to be shared. It's a story about an 11 year old boy who is, in my eyes, a hero!

Florida boy, 11, walking to D.C. for homeless kids

TAMPA, Fla. – At age 11, Zach Bonner has already walked farther and done more for charity than many grown-ups.

Now he's about to make good on his vow to walk more than 1,200 miles from Tampa to Washington to bring attention to the plight of homeless kids in the United States.

The boy with the spiky red hair came up with the idea in 2007, then hiked nearly 300 miles from his home near Tampa to the state capital, Tallahassee. Last year, he walked another 270 miles or so from Tallahassee to Atlanta.

On Monday he'll set out for the final and most demanding leg of the journey, well over 600 miles from Atlanta to Washington. He figures it'll take about two months.

Zach expects to cover around 11 miles a day. Along the way, he'll collect donations and letters from people urging President Barack Obama to take more action to alleviate homelessness among children. He's contacted the White House about meeting with Obama, but has yet to hear back.

"I just decided I wanted to do something big," the soft-spoken fifth-grader said earlier this week.

Zach became a local celebrity of sorts at age 7 when he pulled his red wagon around his neighborhood collecting bottled water and food for victims of Hurricane Charley, which hit Florida in August 2004. He ended up sending 27 pickup truck loads of stuff.

Once he started helping people, especially kids, he couldn't stop. He put together and distributed about 1,200 backpacks full of toiletries, food and other necessities for homeless kids. Now he even has his own registered nonprofit charity, the Little Red Wagon Foundation Inc.

"My plan is to help as many kids as I can, have fun and keep it simple," he says on the Web site,

President George W. Bush found out about Zach's work and gave him a Presidential Call to Service Award during a Tampa visit in 2006. Standing beside Air Force One, Bush shook the boy's hand and told him how proud he was.

Zach said he was inspired by a TV program about a peace activist named Mildred Norman, known as "The Peace Pilgrim," who walked back and forth across the country for 28 years. That's when the idea for the "My House to the White House" walk came to him.

"He told everybody before I had a chance to say no," said his mom, Laurie. "It's just him. It's who he is."

His long walk during summer vacation isn't expected to interfere with school.

A Tampa RV dealership is donating use of a motor home that Zach will sleep in and his mom will drive. His 21-year-old sister, Kelley, will be in a red Volkswagen Beetle decorated with the logo of his foundation. He'll try to get campground space and meals donated along the way. The trip is budgeted at $6,000.

The nonprofit Philanthropy Project has a film crew following Zach, too, and plans to make a movie about his life. British rock legend Elton John counts himself among Zach's fans and has pledged $25,000 to the boy's charity if he finishes the trek.

Staying away from the interstate highways, Zach's sojourn will take him through Greenville, S.C., Raleigh, N.C., and Richmond, Va. His progress will be charted on a Web site,

Once he gets to Washington around July 9, Zach will participate in activities at the Sasha Bruce House, an emergency shelter for homeless youth that Obama visited for a day of service before his inauguration in January. Some of the money Zach is raising will benefit the shelter.

"I'm excited," he said. "A little nervous, but pretty much excited."

By MITCH STACY, Associated Press Writer Mitch Stacy, Associated Press Writer – Fri May 8, 12:19 pm ET

Friday, May 1, 2009


So my friend Tiff always send me some good shit in email, she's one of those people I can always count on for some quality vulgarity and otherwise offensive material. I totally cherish her mail.

So today I get an email from Tiff and she attached a video. Now when I opened the email Tiff wrote...

"ok, you know its bad when my friends know what youre like.... read below..."

So I scrolled down and her friend Marla sent her the video first and Marla wrote to Tiff...

"fipp, this reminds me of something your friend randy would do..."

So I'm like what the HELL?!?! And I'm chuckling because (A) It's cool that someone I have never met or spoken to had a moment of Randy in her head and (B) Because I absolutely know that whatever it is, It's totally gonna kick ass! So I opened the video and this is what played.......

Now I have to admit, not only have I already played that commercial in my head every time some new shit comes out that I have to go buy, but also every time I have to connect that new shit and learn how to use it...Only to not need it at all and barely use it. Not only that, but it's EXACTLY how I would do a commercial, If I had the power LOL...WORD FOR WORD!!!! So Marla was right LOL. Big up's to my friend Tiff and my new friend, Marla...Good lookin Out!!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

His First 100 Days....FAIL!!

Obama's first 100 days = 12 billion dollars a day. Obama acting like the red headed stepchild when criticized = free. Proving the "messiah" don't walk on water...PRICELESS!

Cracks me up how the ignorance of numerous Americans allows them to support a guy who shakes hands with Hugo Chavez and bows to the Saudi President. Oh I'm's "cool" to dig the "Hollywood President" because "everyone else does"

His address of his first 100 days was kindergarten like, it was almost sad. Then again, it was great to see him FAIL on an all new level. Way to completely avoid the issues on Pakistan HAHAHA! FAIL!!

Hey Obama....keep rubbing elbows with "the cool kids" hopefully they won't notice you're not a member of the club until the re-election. I'm not a follower of Fox News...BUT....Man do they nail it when it comes to this guy.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

I'm LOVIN' It...

So I recently learned that when I make a phone call to a land line, typically a business, my first and last name will appear on their caller ID. So I called T-Mobile and told them I wanted to block that and if they could assist me in doing so. It's not that I want to hide, I just don't think the corner pizza joint needs to know me THAT personally.

When speaking to the CSR at T-Mobile she informed me that I could change my caller ID to say ANYTHING I want....I laughed, and she immediately responded.."within reason, no vulgarities" I laughed again. I thought about the previous post I did and was going to make it say ILVTOFU and tell her I own a TOFU business...when in reality I just thought it would be cool if I called the corned pizza joint and that hot 18 or 19 year old answered she saw ILVTOFU and REALLY understood what I meant HAHAHAHAHA!!

But alas, I simply made it Randyz World. So now, when I hit up a land line that has called ID, they know what's up! I ooze awesomeness!!!

Hope you had a KICK ASS weekend!!

Saturday, April 25, 2009


By the looks of this TART....I don't think she meant TOFU either. I'm just saying

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Picture Blog

Some friends and I are involved in a "picture blog" It's a place to check out some really cool pics taken on the go, from people all over. You should definitely check it out.

On The Go Photo Blog

Mobile Uploads About Your Views Throughout The Day!

On The Go Photo <--- Click The Link!

Thursday, April 16, 2009


So I stumbled across this picture yesterday and couldn't help but laugh. It pretty much sums up my feelings on marriage altogether. I'm thinking that whenever this facility was built and then occupied...Someone had some inside info when they started renting office space out.


Sunday, April 12, 2009

iPod meme

So my friend LISA posted this on HER BLOG and tagged me, so I figured I better get it done. I'm hoping some GOOD songs pop up in the 10, my luck the 10 songs I'd never admit to listening to will be popping up....Here we go

* Using the shuffle feature on your iPod (or other MP3 player), write down the first 10 songs that play.

* Don't be a PUNK and skip songs to find something better. If it pops up, it's in the 10

* Justify, defend or explain why those songs are on your iPod.

* Tag someone else to complete the meme.

If you don't have an iPod or similar device: You’re a loser.

1. Sheryl Crow - Good is Good...I've always been a fan of her work. She makes music that you feel, not just hear. So yeah, I'm a Sheryl Crow fan.

2. Diary - Alicia Keys...I've found that when listening to Alicia Keys, you can't find a bad song. She's got range too, not just R&B but faster and harder music. Did you hear her in the Quantum of Soalce song with Kevin White? Good stuff.

3. DMX - X Gonna Give It To Ya...DMX is the artist I use when I'm pumping up, when I need to be in a certain zone and when I'm just flat out pissed off. His aggressive music is just what the doc ordered. DMX is in my top 10!

4. Sarah Bareilles - Love Song...Look, I knew this was going to happen, all the stuff that I DON'T want people to see LMAO. I dig Sarah Bareilles, she's got good stuff, and this song was just catchy as hell, so whatever!

5. Paramore - Hallelujah...Paramore is one of my favorite bands. They haven't made a bad song yet.

6. Nickleback - Savin' Me...I wasn't a huge Nickleback fan until I went to see them in concert when I lived in Seattle. They played for over 4 hours and rocked the house, I was hooked that night!

7. Chris Brown Feat. T-Pain - Kiss Kiss...It was a good song, what can I say LMAO...besides, T-Pain is pretty bad ass.

8. Metallica - The Struggle Within...FINALLY!! Some of my better stuff. What else can be said, Metallica is EFFIN BAD ASS, no matter what song it is...I'm a bigger fan of their older stuff...late 80s early 90s. The song ONE is probably the best song ever recorded by ANY band.

9. Garth Brooks - What She's Doing Now...Look, I don't do a lot of country, but there's this whole portion of my life linked to Garth's music..from lost love to best friends. I lived through some stuff and it was all while listening to everything Garth.

10. Marilyn Manson - Tainted Love...One of the few remakes I actually LOVE. I can see an argument for the remake being better than the original. I dig Marilyn!

Ok....So there's my 10 and I TOTALLY did it the honest way, not skipping anything for something better. I'm just glad the Colby Caillat and Corrine Bailey Rae didn't pop up LMAO....Oh, and the Katy Perry. I was hoping for some Rage Against The Machine, since they're my favorite band but oh well...Kiss, Def Leppard, Van Halen...none of the solid stuff popped up, but that was expected.

Ok, so now I'm tagging 2 people...LORA and NIKKI. Have fun!!

Friday, April 10, 2009


I know it may make me evil...but I find this almost uncontrollably hilarious! Like make my side hurt from laughing so hard, funny!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

10 Items or Less

I’ve tried to simplify it. But I just don’t think they can make that message any clearer than it already is: 10 Items Or Less. It seems fairly self-explanatory, so where’s the confusion? What, exactly, do some of you think that sign says?

10 Items Or Less (except for you)
10 Items Or Less (just kidding)
10 Items Or Less (unless you have deemed yourself more important than everybody else on the planet)

Okay, maybe you can’t count. Well, I have a solution for that: DON’T GO TO THE GROCERY STORE ALONE. Now, I want to be perfectly clear on this point, so pay attention: If you cannot accurately count to ten you should not be allowed to leave your house without adult supervision. Got it? Good.

But you say you know how to count and how to read, you just choose to ignore the well-lit, strategically-placed 10 Items Or Less sign? Well then you belong in the same category as those assholes who think there should be valet parking at Olive Garden. And those people do exist, I’ve seen them.

And don’t tell me you don’t get it. I’ve been to plenty of grocery stores, in plenty of states. And every last one of them had a 10 Items Or Less lane. So the wolves who raised you must have kept you under a pretty big rock if you can’t get on board with this idea: 10 Items Or Less means 10 Items Or Less. Period. End of discussion. Let someone in with 11 items and you will find yourself on a very slippery slope, my friend.

And for those of you ready to pull the language card: forget about it. 10 Items Or Less translates (more or less). En español: 10 artículos o menos. Auf deutsch: 10 punkte oder weniger. På norsk: 10 Ting Eller Mindre. Did you notice anything? A pattern perhaps?

The number 10. Not 13, not 14, not 15, and because it’s not the “Divisible By 10” lane, 20—the very concept of 20—makes my brain hurt. And don’t insult my intelligence, I’m not stupid (I may have too much time on my hands, but I’m not stupid), don’t even try to put one of those little dividers between items 1–10 and 11–20. That molded piece of plastic doesn’t impress me and it doesn’t change a damn thing.

And now for the cashiers: listen up because you have a hand in this mess too. I realize that being a grocery store cashier may not afford you the same power as, say, being the Pope, but you have got to seize opportunities where you can. Put your foot down and OWN that rule your world!

The Express Lane can be a daunting and demanding mistress, after all it’s your deft agility and fierce commitment to getting me out of that store as fast as humanly possible that got you to the Express Lane in the first place. You don’t ask how I am or how my day was, mostly because you couldn’t care less—but more importantly, you don’t ask because you are focused. Focused on not seeing me for one second longer than is absolutely necessary.

And I love you for that.

So dammit, grab that Express Lane by the balls and don’t let go. You can’t let the inmates run the asylum. If you see someone coming at you with a basket so woefully overloaded that one shoulder may permanently hang lower than the other, take a stand. By God, put your foot down and end this madness. Believe me, I’ve got your back. I also have a 6-pack of Guinness and new razor blades that I am not afraid to use.

Saturday, April 4, 2009


I don't get very much spam in my email, I take precautions to keep my inbox and spam box fairly empty. I use my personal email for emails between friends and colleagues and never use it for internet websites...except something like facebook, twitter, etc. Basically personal networking sites. I have another email I use to float around the web....and it breaks spam records, last I checked there were something like 4600 messages in the spam folder....ANYWAY, back to why I'm posting....I got some spam today in my personal email

On Sat, Apr 4, 2009 at 5:34 PM, Senator David Mark wrote:


This is to officially inform you that(ATM Card Number;(5179123456789120)
has been accredited in your favor.Your Personal Identification Number is
The ATM Card Value is $6.8 MILLION USD.You are advice to contact
Mr Jeffery Simpson via Email( with the

Full Name:
Delivery Address:
Phone Number:

Please Note that you are to pay the sum of $85 USD for the delivery of
your ATM Card by FedEx Courier Express

Best Regards,
Senator David Mark.

So I wanted to post immediately and let everyone know that since I just became a millionaire, I'm not sure how much I'll be posting from now on.....SERIOUSLY? What baffles me is that emails like this are still sent, what floors me is....People who ACTUALLY believe them. Being that I have been on the internet regularly since like 1995, emails like these don't even catch my attention, this one slipped into my personal inbox. I have to ask....Do any of my fellow bloggers or anyone reading this......Do you fall prey to scams like this? Do you forward chain letters because if you don't you'll receive 7 years bad luck? I still have the occasional friend forward me something and it BAFFLES me...Anyway, if someone else would like to claim my credit card for 6.8 million dollars, feel free...I'm just that generous!

Friday, April 3, 2009


I don't like the fact my kids are getting older. I have a 12 1/2 year old daughter that wants to gauge her ears and I keep trying to make her think, "What is the FIRST thing I want people to think when they see me?" Because, baby, if you gauge your ears then you will NEVER get the chance to recover from the instant judgment that will be passed upon you by most of society that is OUTSIDE your own age bracket.

But this isn't about ear gauges; it's about similar expressions of creativity and individuality.

It is both a Rant AND a Rave. And it's long. I have a great combination going on right now of passion for the subject and total boredom with whatever else I should be doing.

So for what it might be worth to you, here is the same advice I give EVERYONE that's contemplating their first tattoo.

1. Be sober. Stone. Cold. Sober. Period!

2. Research beforehand. Meaning, watch the artist work, check out samples of their work. Make sure their place is clean. If you wouldn't sit down there and eat a burger, leave immediately.

3. If you're going to get something written in a foreign language, have someone of that nationality (someone that you TRUST) write what you want FOR you and bring it to the artist. Alternatively you can have that person go with you so they can translate what you see before you get inked. Otherwise, you could end up with a tat on the back of your neck that you THINK says "I love my mother" but you're constantly getting your ass kicked because it really says, "I Banged Your Mother".

4. Make sure you chose something that means something to you, not some trendy thing you're constantly going to have to explain once that fad passes. For those of you old enough to remember imagine if you had...say...Jem from Jem and the Holograms in portrait style...across your back. Yeah. SEE!?!

5. I used to make this "point #4A" since it is so closely related. But about 5 years ago I decided it is probably THE single most important thing I say to prospective ink recipients so it gets its very own number now. In regards to things that REALLY mean something to you...and this is IMPORTANT: ***never, never never never NEVER NEVER NEVER put someone else's name, initials, portrait etc. on your body to whom you are not related BY BLOOD. EVER. Never. Did I say never? Okay, we covered that.

6. Put it someplace that the whole world isn't going to see it, because later, you may not be so thrilled (now proceed to #7 because it's relevant, I swear).

7. Most people find that once they get "my first tattoo" they either regret it instantly and start wondering "is there a way to get rid of it?" OR they love it and almost instantly start thinking "my next tat's gonna be...." So become comfortable with the notion of having multiple tattoos before you get your FIRST tattoo. Or don't get any at all.

8. Make sure you have plenty of money and a high tolerance for pain. A good tat shouldn't BE cheap, man. You are paying an artist for a permanent piece of art. If that person is doing the drawing for you then it's twice the work of art. If you want a cheap mass production, then by all means, go to the Wal-Mart of tattoo studios outside the back gate of the nearest Basic Training camp and pay $40 for the same thing that FOUR THOUSAND other dudes JUST LIKE YOU have *See caveats before you jump on me about Unit Crests and the like. Anyway, the reason you need to have the money and the tolerance for pain is not necessarily for GETTING the tattoo, it is just in case you fall in the first group from #7. Because, for you folks, removal is an option but it is not cheap, it is NOT pain free and it will probably leave a scar that ranges in severity from " that a scar right there? I've never noticed that before" to somewhere in the neighborhood of, "Holy SHIT! Were you NAPALMED as a child!?!" (As a bonus, though, IF you followed the advice in #6, no one ever has to see the scar unless you let them because YOU were smart enough to put your first tat someplace discreet.)

Okay, for the caveats: No, I am not a tattoo artist. Yes, I have multiple tattoos. 6 have been inked but one's a cover up (that's how #5 got its very own number). For those of you sporting the Double A's of the 82nd, or the Head of the Screamin' Eagle or something similar, ROCK ON. That doesn't fall into the "cheap mass production" category it falls into the "means something special to me" category. (For the record, YOUR double AA's, Screamin' Eagles, Ranger Tabs, etc. mean something special to me when I see them also.)

The thing about MY tats though is that NONE OF THEM is in a readily visible area. I have none on my hands, wrists, neck, face, etc. I have 2 on my upper arms, 2 on my legs, and 2 on my back. I wear pants, and rarely the sleeveless shirt. You wouldn't know I have tats unless I want you to know.My point is, unless you want to spend your life working with inanimate objects, or you are Blessed to be talented as a clothing or interior designer, or capable as a chef, blah blah blah...then you better LIKE living in squalor because you're going to have slim pickings in the job market because people ARE judgmental. If you have studs in your face and tattoos across your neck and are up against an equally qualified candidate that appears "Clean Cut" the dude may very well be a scum bag, but he'll win because all they see is your adornments.

Being the Father of a teenage daughter these days, is challenging, to say the least. You can be a free spirit and you can be an individual without compromising your ability to make a good first impression. READ THAT AGAIN!!! You can be a free spirit and you can be an individual without compromising your ability to make a good first impression.

So, to my baby girl, when you're 18 you'll be allowed to do whatever you want. And I will just have to hope that you heed my words and you make a good decision. If so, we'll go see if ADRIAN is still working at FANTASY TATTOO in THE U DISTRICT and if he's there, then I will leave you in his highly skilled hands and you will be free to get whatever ink you want. But until you are 18 NO INK and NO GAUGING.

And that's my take on Tattoo decisions. Now excuse me while I go beat my head against a wall....Just yesterday my children were small, and cuddly, and they only wanted cartoons and food

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Bad Movies

So Melissa has a new hobby....Picking the worst movies for us to watch each week. Her latest? Twilight! I don't get the fascination....the movie was AWFUL! A vampire love story? I knew I was going to hate it too...but I made a deal to watch her choice of movie each week. What's baffling is how much she loves it. She even has the damn book. My daughter Gabrielle is a huge fan of it too, but she's 12.

Now I'm all for a Vampire movie...Lost Boys, Interview With The Vampire, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Dracula, Underworld...but freaking Twilight? What's worse is I'm told there will be a sequel, perhaps a trilogy...WHAT THE HELL? Chicks old and young LOVE this crap...What's terrifying is, there are probably a few males out there that like it too, do they realize they can never call themselves MEN?

I'm DYING to debate the relevance of this story with ANYONE...Melissa don't count, she's foreign so that's a usable excuse for bad taste in movies. Anyone else that claims this crap is "good" needs their head checked!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Brutally HORRIFIC!!

Wait till you see what happens next.....BRACE YOURSELF!!!


Did you REALLY think I'd post a pic of that kitty getting eaten? C'mon now!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Beer Me!!

So a co-worker and I were out for lunch today at a Pub/Restaurant that we like to frequent because of their import beers. When asked if I "Really enjoy any other import rather than Guinness" I replied, "YES! Yuengling!" to which my co-worker and the bartender ask...."What the hell is Yuengling"

It's pronounced...YING LING...and it's an awesome beer. Now typically I'd let you know that Yuengling isn't an import at all....If you happen to live on the Eastern Seaport. But out west....that beer is a total mystery and to get it here it would have to be IMPORTED. It's only distributed to a few states back East, I experienced it during my time in New York/New Jersey and while I had Yuengling, I never drank a single Guinness. Seriously though, Yuengling is probably the best beer I've ever had, Now my Guinness will ALWAYS be #1 but if it were sitting side by side with some Yuengling right now...I'd knock it over just to get to the Yuengling. So if you're ever back East, make sure to grab a bottle of Yuengling and remember who told you about it.

If you currently live in a state that HAS me, I have a lucrative import proposition for you...SERIOUSLY!!!!


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Irish and PROUD of It...


So Today is St. Patrick's Day.....It's really the only holiday I look forward to all year (I do love 4th of July). YES! It IS a holiday....when you're Irish. So don't argue with me. It's a day that I make a point of to take off every year, NO! I don't work on St. Patrick's Day!!! Melissa and I are going to celebrate being Irish and end up in a drunken stooper somewhere. I hope you enjoy the greatest day on the calendar!!


And here are 10 things you didn't know about Ireland

1. Technically, it is an offense to be drunk in public in Ireland

Technically, it is an offense to be drunk in public in Ireland. Regulations introduced last year allow the police to issue on-the-spot fines for anyone caught being drunk in a public place in Ireland.

2. An Irishman founded the Argentinean Navy

Irishman William Brown (known in Spanish as “Guillermo Brown”) is one of Argentina’s national heroes. He is commonly known as the “father of the Argentine navy” and was an important leader in the Argentinean struggle for independence from Spain.

Brown’s family left Foxford in Co. Mayo for Philadelphia in 1786 when he was aged 9 and his father died of yellow fever soon after they arrived in the U.S.

He led an adventurous early life: he fought in the Napoleonic wars, was taken prisoner-of-war, escaped to Germany, before somehow ending up in Uruguay, where he became a sea trader. He then founded the Argentinean navy, when it was at war with Spain.

Today there is a statute of Brown in his hometown of Foxford, Co. Mayo, which was unveiled in 2007, the 150th anniversary of his death. in Argentina, there are 1,200 streets, 500 statues, two towns, one city and a few football clubs named after him.

3. Only two members of U2 were born in Ireland

David Howell Evans, more commonly known as The Edge, was born in London, to Welsh parents. Garvin and Gwenda Evans moved to Malahide in Dublin when The Edge was aged 1. Adam Clayton, U2's bassist, was born in Oxfordshire, England. His family moved to Malahide in Dublin when he was 5, and he soon became friends with The Edge.

Only Bono and Larry Mullen Jr. were actually born in Ireland.

4. The British Embassy in Tehran is on a street named after an Irishman

In 1981, shortly after the death of IRA hunger-striker Bobby Sands, the Iranian government changed the name of the street where the British Embassy is located from "Churchill Boulevard" (after the British Prime Minister) to "Bobby Sands Street."

British Embassy Staff were then forced to route everything through a side door in the building to avoid showing their address as The British Embassy, Bobby Sands Street, Tehran.

5. Up until around the early 1990s, Ireland had a low per capita consumption of alcohol

When the word "Irish" comes up, "drinking" is never far behind. And today, Ireland alcohol's consumption is very high by international standards. A 2006 survey found that the Irish spend a higher proportion of their income on alcohol than anyone else in Europe. It also found that the Irish were the worst binge drinkers in Europe. So the recent evidence supports the old Irish drunkard stereotype.

But Ireland's alcohol consumption per population was moderate for much of the 20th century. There was a high level of alcohol abstinence in the country – something usually more associated with Protestantism – which was promoted by the Catholic Church.

As the Church's moral authority declined, however, and as the country became wealthier, the Irish started to drink a lot more - finally earning themselves that old heavy-drinking stereotype.

6. A Belfast hospital is a world leader in kneecap reconstruction

During the Troubles, the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast had one of the top trauma units in Europe. At one point as many as 100 victims of "limb executions" were being treated by the hospital every year, whose advances included external “limb scaffolding" that enables partial healing for bone damage too severe for reconstruction.

7. Ireland has the fourth largest stadium in Europe

Dublin's Croke Park, the headquarters of the Gaelic Athletic Association, is the fourth largest stadium in Europe. The 82,300-capacity stadium was redeveloped in 2005 and is now the fourth largest: only Camp Nou in Barcelona, Wembley in England, and Olimpiysky in the Ukraine, are bigger.

Rugby and soccer were banned from the stadium up until 2007 because of a long-standing rule banning “foreign” games. The rule was relaxed when the country’s main soccer and rugby stadium, Lansdowne Road, was closed for redevelopment.

8. In the summer of 2007, it rained in Ireland for 40 days straight

Even by Irish standards, 2007 was a wet summer. By August 24, it had rained in Ireland for 40 days - fulfilling an old Irish proverb that says it will rain for 40 days if it rains on St. Swithin's day (July 15). The rain usually takes a break in the summer for a couple of weeks and the rare sunshine sends the country pure mad!

9. Playboy was banned in Ireland until 1995

In 1995 you could get Playboy TV but you couldn't get the magazine, which was banned under the censorship laws.

10. More Guinness is sold in Nigeria than in Ireland

That's right: Ireland is the third largest market for Guinness. Nigeria is at second, and Britain is first.


Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Perfect Combo

So I wanted to let you in on a little secret. I'm totally addicted to a couple of sites. The work together AND with my blackberry, so needless to say, I'm there ALL THE TIME.

The first is TWITTER. It a great place to update what's happening as you go, and if you network it with your friends, it can be SUPER fun. Especially on those nights when you have the urge to drunk text someone....just tweet and get everyone at once. If you're not tweet''re not livin'!!

The next is BLIP.FM it works with twitter, if you so desire. Ever wanted to be the DJ? Ever wanted to play what you feel and share it with your friends? Blip is awesome, it has a HUGE library of music and you get to decide what's on the radio. Sync it with twitter and your friends get to hear what you're rockin.

Ok so what are you waiting for? I just turned you onto 2 of the coolest places online....go setup your account, add me, add your cell phone...and let's roll!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Glory Days

So lately I have been reconnecting with A LOT of people I knew in high school. Sadly, I don't remember all of them, but find it oddly humbling how many remember me.

I spent my high school years, and every year leading up to high school living in the same neighborhood, the same house, and around all the same people. Back then my entire life was football. I played from the age of 5 until my senior year. I was a standout wherever I played and all I could think of was what NFL team I would be playing for 1 day....funny how looking back, your dreams then are just memories now. In high school I played both ways for 4 years. Offense and Defense. I lettered 4 years. I was never the best student, typically....girls would do my schoolwork. I hated school. I hated the thought of being in school. During football season I really applied myself but when the season ended and there were still several months left, I lost interest and did just enough to remain eligible to play next year.

I mention this because I get a lot of questions from people who knew Randy Hunt "back in the day" and many of them are surprised that after high school, I disappeared. I barely even remained in contact with anyone. I had offers to play college football, I went through the whole recruitment thing my senior year and everyone assumed I'd be playing somewhere. Thing is....back then, I didn't have a great relationship with my Mom, which later haunted me after her death. So when I turned 18 and got that diploma that was so highly regarded in my house all I could think about was getting the hell out of Las Vegas. I couldn't bear the thought of 4 more years of school and the pressures of football, the cliche of every high school football movie of the week was my life for far too long, I felt I needed to change it and stop living the Friday Night Lights life. So I told my parents I wasn't going to college and my Mom and I had a HUGE fight. I left the house that day and ended up at a strip of military recruiters offices. Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines....all in a row. I went into each one to discuss entering the military. Army was a 3 month wait. Marines was a 6 month wait. then I walked into the Navy office and the recruiter told me about traveling the world, he sold me....Then he asked, can you take an ASVAB test tomorrow? Can you be in boot camp in 5 days? That was it, I signed my name. Every college opportunity....gone with the stroke of a pen. I didn't even tell anyone. I woke up on the day of my ASVAB and called my recruiter and told him I had no place to live, a lie because I couldn't imagine the argument with my parents. So he put me up for 5 days until I left for boot camp. I called my parents from the airport in San Diego on my way to boot camp and told them where I was, there was nothing they could do. 6 months later I came home after graduating boot camp and passing A school for my 10 day leave, before I left for Virginia, and my military assignment aboard the USS Dwight D Eisenhower. I spent those 10 days pretty much alone. My parents crushed over my decision. Then I left for Virginia. I spent the next several years in the US Navy.

Now today, many of the people who wondered "what happened to Randy" are shocked to learn where my life went after high school. Looking back....I can't say I regret a second of it. The happiest time of my entire life was spent in the Navy. By the age of 19 I had traveled the world, by the time I left the Navy I had seen more places than a single person can ever dream of seeing. I walked in places people see on TV and dream of. I've been to Rome and seen the Coliseum. I've been to Paris and seen the Eiffel Tower. I've walked in the Nile River. I've touched the phenom known as Stonehenge. I've toured the Pyramids in Egypt. I've taken a Gondola ride in Italy. I've tried to make the guards at the Royal Palace blink an eye. England, France, Italy, Spain, Israel, Turkey, Ireland, Greece, Morocco, Marseilles, Portugal, Bermuda....I've been to all of em, numerous times. So when I'm asked now, if I regret my decision to forget college football and join the Navy, I say "NO" with a smile on my face. Walking into that recruiters office that day and leaving as fast as I did was, hands down, the best decision I've ever made. Had I thought about it and weighed my options, talked to my parents, I would have went onto college and missed the greatest moments of my NO...I'm not sorry...not even a little bit.

As far as Randy Hunt from back in the day...I don't wear a football jersey anymore, I'm not at the party of the week that often these days, and I don't get free fast food anymore....but I'm still me, just a bit more grown up. Nowadays, it's a job I've worked at for 13 years, a divorce, and 3 of the most amazing kids anyone could ever have.....I couldn't have scripted it better. High School is long gone but man did we have some times. Never underestimate the power of reflection, it feels good to know I left a mark and people remember my name. It is important to say....If I don't remember you today, it's my ignorance...and I apologize, I was kinda into myself back I'm just sorta into myself. LOL Cheers!

Thursday, March 5, 2009


So a good friend of mine, Lora, posted a meme over at HER BLOG, and then tasked me with the letter "B" to do myself. I must say, I could have REALLY gotten into some trouble with this letter....Considering my ex wife is a Bitch and rides a Broomstick, but I kept it to the theme....10 things I love that start with the letter "B" If you would like to be tasked with your own letter, let me know so I can assign you one. NO! you don't get to pick your own!!

1. BEER - Seriously, I have no idea what I would do if a cold one wasn't waiting for me when I got home. But I only drink imports, none of that domestic toilet water.

2. BBQ's - Nothing like gathering the friends and having a kick ass BBQ. I'm partial to the 4th of July BBQ, I look forward to it every year!

3. BOOBIES - Boobies are good! Besides, you can't motorboat a personality! This is why Lora gave me "B" I guarantee it! LOL

4. BAHAMAS - I've been there twice, I swear it's Paradise. If it's not on your bucket list, add it, you won't be sorry.

5. BED - What's better than crawling into bed and sleeping? Also, it's where the magic happens!

6. BROCCOLI - I love me some broccoli, next to green's my Fav!

7. BRIDGES - My Mom was terrified of them, I think they are awesome! The Brooklyn Bridge is my favorite. I've walked across it 3 times!

8. BLOGGER - Like my cell phone, I don't think I could live without it.

9. BOSTON - I love Boston. Not only do they have the most awesome baseball team EVER, but it's so rich with history. If you're Irish and you don't love're faking it!

10. BEARS, BEETS, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA - The Office!! It's the cure for what ails you. I dare you to watch an episode and not laugh, it's impossible!

Monday, March 2, 2009

December 21, 2012

So I've been reading a lot on the impending Apocalypse lately, trying to see everyone's point of view on the subject and I have to tell you...I almost buy it...ALMOST!

In case you're living under a rock or just prefer to ignore it...Like I did for a long time, a lot of people, from ALL walks of life believe that life, as we know it, will end on December 21, 2012. Now there are a zillion theories on how or why it will happen and I'm not going to try to explain any of it here, if you want to know you should read about it for yourself. Scientist believe it has to do with our Solar System or magnetic poles, Religious freaks believe it's the arrival of the Messiah, I've even see crazy shit like people actually believing the Terminator stories were an attempt to "prepare us". Not to mention the predictions of the I Ching & The Web-Bot Project. The reasoning for our impending doom and the how's and why's of it are something that a lot of people are at odds about....What's interesting is NOBODY is arguing the date. As in so many "End of the World" mumbo jumbo scenarios that have been flown out there, from the new Millennium to a Black President...nobody ever agrees on WHEN it will happen...What's weird is EVERYONE agrees on 122112. Reason being, on 12-21-2012 the ancient Mayan calendar ends and if you don't know anything about the Mayan calendar let me be the first to say that it is the most accurate document in history, dating back to the 6th century. The Mayan calendars accuracy of lunar, solar, and planetary cycles are almost startling. It's been perfectly accurate to date and it ends on 12-21-12 the Winter Solstice....Weird huh? It tells us that our planet will be in perfect alignment with the sun in the center of the Milky Way Galaxy, which, in the last 5 years astronomers have discovered a massive black the center of the Milky Way Galaxy....Bizarre Eh? Now I'm in NO WAY saying I believe ANY of this bullshit. Especially because so many religious nut jobs are enthralled in it. But I AM interested in what a number of REPUTABLE scientists have discovered. And if I were going to believe ANYTHING it is the theory of the shifting of the magnetic poles is where my belief would lean, you can research the shifting of the north & south pole and its effects on our planet...It's already happened, and that's proven fact. Now I'm not saying the end of the world is near...because, well....I don't believe in predictions. I'm a realist and I'll believe it when I see it, touch it, smell it, taste it, or hear it....until then it's just mumbo jumbo to me. Let's face it, the "end of the world" has been predicted thousands of times through history, and what's the ONE thing that is always accurate? THE PREDICTIONS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WRONG!!! But I gotta ask....DO YOU BELIEVE?

On a side note, I always thought I'd fare well in a post apocalyptic world. No rules, no law, fend for yourself kinda world...I think I'd find my niche. I've always secretly wished for a chance to test my survival instincts/skills in a very extreme kind of way...maybe in a few years, I'll get my chance. You should want to be standing next to me if the world ends...seriously!!

Thursday, February 26, 2009


So I've been kinda slack in my blog posts and I have a perfectly good explanation. Here's the thing...I've really become accustomed to using my cell phone (can we even call them phones) for just about ANYTHING computer related. I get all of my email on it, I handle paying bills with it thru web sites, I surf the internet, watch videos, text, twitter, etc, etc, etc. I use my BlackBerry for everything now and to be honest, I rarely get on my computer or laptop at all. Now here's my dilemma LOL....I can't really figure out how to blog with it yet, sure I can post words but as far as inserting links, adding video, making certain text bold when I need to, etc, etc...I am so far, limited on blogging from my phone. So that's my excuse!

I promise to work diligently on sorting out the issue and correcting it soon....and for the 3 people who actually read my blog...THANKS! LMAO!!

Monday, February 23, 2009


Another installment in the "Things that make Randy Laugh Category. Enjoy!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Sharing is Caring

So I decided to share one of my favorite links with you today. Although I catch flack from my guy friends when they learn I like this site, because they say it's a "chick site" I still read it every single day, regardless of what anyone thinks....I've never been the type to change the way I think or the things I like based on what others say, and in a way....reading other peoples "secrets" makes me feel a little less fucked up than the rest of the world, and that's ok with me.

POSTSECRET <--- click the link, dummy!

So whether this becomes a regular site for you, or a 1 time thing...enjoy it and remember who sent you, cause I RULE!!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I'm Evil....Ok Maybe Just a Bit Mean

So I go to 7-11 to grab something to drink today, I pull in, I park. As I am getting out of my car I notice this lady standing by the door, seemingly waiting for something. She's dressed fairly nice with some kind of long animal coat....I have no idea what kind of fur it is. So I get to the door and as I put my hand on the handle she steps forward. I look at her and she gives me this shitty look and clears her throat.....Apparently she was waiting for someone to hold the door for her...What the hell?!?!

So I'm filling my cup at the fountain and she's at the counter. She's being snooty with the clerk (who is cool and gives me free refills) and just going out of her way, it seems, to be a bitch....She was complaining about something "sticky" on the water she was buying, she was complaining about the smell in the store???, stupid shit like that, just being a total BITCH for no apparent reason, other than she thinks she's better than the rest of the world....yea, THAT type.

So I'm waiting behind her to pay for my items, wondering if she's going to open the door herself, or wait for someone else....cause I sure as hell aint doing it...we'll stand in that store until next winter if it's up to me. She gathers her things and walks towards the door, she opens it herself and goes out. I look at the clerk and we both start talking about the lady when we hear a scream, more like a surprise/shock scream.....we look outside and the nice lady had slipped and fallen. The ground was really wet, so her nice animal coat was soaked, her water was rolling down the parking lot and I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!!! As I left the store, she was just getting up and was apparently crying or about to cry, she says to me...I can't believe they don't clean these parking lots, my coat is ruined...I looked right in her face and said to her.....DINKIN FLICKA!!!!! and got in my car and left.

Friday, February 13, 2009

5 Jams On My iPod Today

Kevin Rudolf (ft. NAS) - N.Y.C. - This kid is blowin up. He's most popularly known for the song Let It Rock, but the kid got skillz...His whole album is good.

NWA - Straight Outta Compton - Damn! I went a little old school on this one, but there's no denying NWA was the shit!

Marilyn Manson - Tainted Love - This has to be one of the greatest remakes ever and the video kicks ass too.

U2 - Beautiful Day - It's Friday....Every Friday is a beautiful day! Besides U2 is in my top 5 all time favorite bands.

Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started - Seriously? Who don't like the BEP? Will I Am is brilliant!

Thursday, February 12, 2009


So these guys at work have been trying to get me to watch this shit called "2 girls, 1 cup" for a while now so that they can film my reaction and there's just no way it's gonna happen. I've heard the stories about it, I've watched the "reactions" to people seeing it for the first time. I even went as far as to watch like the first 10 seconds of it. There's NO WAY I can look at it. I KNOW, I KNOW...the rule is...if you click "play" you MUST watch it all....but that shit buckled me at the core and I can't do it! I'm cursed with the worlds weakest stomach. So bad that all my friends say and do gross shit just to watch me's comedy to them. The slightest sick shit will set me off too...a fart, the sight of any kind of shit (which is why I don't own animals), puke, snot, anything like that....I even struggle watching my favorite shows like CSI when a jacked up body pops up...And I actually have friends who do nasty shit just to trigger my gag thing....bastards! So it's 110% safe to say that the whole story of "2 girls, 1 cup" will NEVER be seen by my eyes, and that's a FACT! I can't do it!

If you've never heard of it or never seen it, the rule must NOT research it at all! When you watch it, you MUST watch the entire thing. I tried, I failed good luck! It's really hard to find online since it's been deemed the most filthy and inappropriate video ever and posting it bring all kinds of issues....but if you're a glutton for punishment...I have a working link to the video, so hit me up.

Here's some of my favorite reactions to it.

My LEAST Favorite Subject

Before you read any further and start sending me hate mail, know that I am NOT Atheist, I'm Agnostic. I'm a realist. I believe in SCIENCE. I believe that if the 5 senses can't pick it up...IT'S NOT REAL!

A co-worker and I got into a bit of a heated debate, OK it wasn't a co-worker it was more of someone who can be considered "my boss" over the worst subject ever, religion! Now when the conversation started, I tried my best to back out of it. Like all cult members, this person got offended and wanted to talk about how I should feel. So against my better judgment and because I HATE it when "they" try to cram it down my throat, I debated...and when it was done, the "believer" couldn't run away fast enough....Guess it had something to do with never being able to debate this subject with me because I will kick your ass at it...I'm just saying. I find it funny that I never judge those who believe in different beliefs, but as soon as they know I don''s an issue. I'll put it out there right now...Christianity is a CULT!!! I was raised Catholic and as an adult I could never understand why I need to "confess" my sins to another human being who, in all likelihood, sins himself or herself...Nobody is perfect, right?

Anyway....I love all of my friends, and they are all of different religions. We have an understanding...Don't ask, Don't tell and leave Randy the fuck alone when it comes to it because if you don't he's going to hurt your feelings! I should just direct all those who want to discuss the matter to this George Carlin clip.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


So I've never really told anyone that I am a HUGE fan of the show Smallville. If you're not familiar with it, it's the origins of Superman as a young man. The show started with Clark Kents freshman year in high school. It's now in Season 8 and is awesome. What they've done with the Superman characters is kick ass. They've modernized them and made em cool again. To see the the Justice League along with all the villains is really cool. Not to mention the way they show how Superman discovered his powers 1 by 1, it's season 8 and he still doesn't know he can fly. He doesn't even have the Superman costume yet...good stuff!

I'm currently watching season 7 and Supergirl just debuted...WHOA! To say she's UBER HOT would be an understatement.

Here are some of the other characters that have debuted...

Green Arrow



Justice League - Impulse, Green Arrow, Clark Kent, Aquaman, Cyborg

That's just a few of the more frequently used characters. Martian Manhunter is a regular now, and Black Canary debuted this season. So far not many popular villains, other than Lex Luthor have been used, but a lot of "Villains of the Week" are used.

Friday, February 6, 2009

One Word

USING ONLY ONE WORD! It's not as easy as you might think! Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers. I found this on LORA'S BLOG... and you know, it's really not all that easy. Not tagging anyone, but feel free to do it!

1. Where is your cell phone? Pocket

2. Birth order? Huh?

3. Last thing you ate? Gum

4. Your mother? Deceased

5. Your father? Awesome

6. Your favorite? Pie!!!

7. Your dream last night? None

8. Your favorite drink? Caffeinated

9. Your dream/goal? Happiness

10. What room you are in? outside

11. Your hobby? Sports

12. Your fear? Failure

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Vegas

14. Where were you last night? Home

15. Something that you aren't? Shy

16. Muffins? boobies?

17. Wish list item? Electronic

18. Where you grew up? Vegas

19. Last thing you did? Court

20. What are you wearing? Clothes

21. Your TV? BIG!

22. Your pets? None

23. Friends? Awesome

24. Your life? Challenging

25. Your mood? Annoyed

26. Missing someone? definitely

27. Car? Sufficient

28. Something you're not wearing? Tie

29. Your favorite store? Sports

30. Your favorite color? Green

33. When is the last time you laughed? Today

34. Last time you cried? 2000

35. Who will resend this? Unknown

36. One place that I go to over and over? Work

Sunday, February 1, 2009

For The Record!!!


To make it simple.....


Monday, January 26, 2009

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I Told You America Got It Wrong

So I posted a while back about the election and Americas choice for a new President. I gave a little bit of history on just how unpatriotic he really is...Well, I found something really disturbing today while drinking my coffee and reading world news. Seems Mr. Obama (I use that term extremely losely) has gone above and beyond in his anti-patriotic ways....I can't believe this guy got the vote, it's sickening!!

Click the link...and happy reading! Way to go America!

Obama Snubs Nation's Heroes, Becomes the First President to Skip Ball Honoring Medal of Honor Recipients in Over 50 Years

Addicted to The Office

A couple of friends and I have been putting together a new blog that is dedicated to the most awesomest show ever....The Office! If your a fan you should definitely add it to your daily must views. It's coming along and will be really fun when it's 100%

You can find it at this link....Addicted To The Office

Don't forget to click on the "follow" link so we know you've been there. And feel free to contribute anything related to The Office and one of us will post it in the appropriate place. The photo galley is up and running, that's the latest...ENJOY!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

5 Jams On My Ipod Today

Sublime - Wrong Way...Sublime is one of my all time fav's. I have every song they've ever recorded burned on a CD, even their underground stuff.

Metallica - Whiskey In The Jar...Well, because Metallica kicks all kinds of ass and my ipod is loaded with their stuff, more of their old stuff as opposed to their new stuff though.

Katy Perry - Ur So Gay...Seriously, I'll admit it...I like Katy Perry. And it's not just because she kissed a girl and liked it.

Hollywood Undead - Undead...This band is seriously growing on me. Great stuff. This song is actually my cell phone ring tone....I like em!

Dropkick Murphy's - Blood & Whisley...I'm Irish, I like Irish bands...SUE ME!! Besides....DKM kick all kinds of ass!

Friday, January 16, 2009


Ok....So I have been a loyal follower of CSI (The Original) since it began. I own every season on DVD and have ALWAYS said CSI is my favorite amongst the 3 on television. When CSI spun off CSI: Miami....I checked it out, but quickly dismissed it. David Caruso is just AWFUL and the Medical Examiner on that show is really, really creepy with the dead people...she caresses them and talks to them and's really horrifying. So CSI: Miami was definitely out, I've never seen an episode after season 1. Then CSI: Miami spun off CSI: NY and I was totally against it and severely biased that it was going to suck....but...I gave it a go. WOW!! It was awesome! I loved it immediately. However, I never discussed it when the subject of "your favorite CSI" came up...I was loyal to the original and wasn't about to sway. Even though CSI: NY has one of the HOTTEST women on TV on the show Melina Kanakaredes.


Still, her obvious hotness could not make me name it as my favorite CSI, no way, no how! Then came the new season...Warrick was gone, now Grissom is gone and I'm sorry but Marg Helgenberger is NOT hot, not even a little, even though they specifically write it into the show that she IS hot. After losing the 2 best characters on the show, I'm sorry to say that CSI is no longer my favorite of the genre...and them bringing in Lawrence Fishburn, as great as he is, to replace Grissom, won't help me change my mind...My favorite CSI is now CSI: NY, hands down!! The cast rules! Gary Sinise is amazing and Carmine Giovinazzo is really good too....not to mention the complete and total hotness of Melina Kanakaredes. So there it is! I have publically announced my intentions of being a loyal CSI: NY fan and naming it my #1 CSI show.


Road Warrior!!!

So I just came out of my coma....literally!

I had to make a road trip to Seattle to handle a personal matter, unexpectedly. So I found myself doing something pretty stupid, now that I have had time to reflect. I wanted to go to Seattle, handle my bidnezz, and come right back home....Long story! So here's what I did. I stayed awake for 39 hours straight and drove for 27 hours total. My only break in that 27 hours were gas station stops, and the aforementioned "bidnezz" I had to handle. I hurt in places I didn't know I had....sitting in a car all that time was not a good thing LOL. I also totally blew the reason I wanted to get back home in a hurry...I had meetings at work I needed to attend...Nobody told me that when you keep your body awake for 39 hours living on nothing but Monster energy drinks...when you "crash" it's gonna be really hard, and it was....I slept 16 1/2 hours LMAO!! Work? Meetings? Cell Phone? what the hell are those?, I slept right thru all of it...oh well, I'll deal with it on Monday. Right now all I want to do is sit in my recliner and zone out....I seriously have pains that I didn't know I had or would feel while I was driving....after sleeping it off and climbing outta bed..OH MY GOD...for the first time ever....I felt a little old.

I've always been a road warrior. I've made the coast to coast trip 7 times, I've driven thousands of miles....but I've always had a break, always took my time, never went somewhere that was 1000 miles away, did what I had to do in an hour, and drove another thousand miles to get right back....all on no sleep and no wasn't my usual "fun road trip mood" this time it was a "i hate my life" mood...and I never wanna feel that again...cause, life ROCKS!!!

I DO need to thank Lora and Nik for keeping me awake, safe, and occupied with all the text messages....if it weren't for you 2 I would have never made THANK YOU!! And Melissa for the ability to stay on the phone with me for several hours without wanting to smash her phone with a hammer when it was over....if it weren't for friends like all of you, I may still be lying in a ditch somewhere...literally!

For the takes 14 Monster Energy drinks (Kaos Flavor) to pull that off...but I don't recommend it LOL

Friday, January 9, 2009

Amazon is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

So I had like 15 blu-ray movies that I've seen and didn't really care if they were in my collection or not, so I decided to give selling on a try....I've been selling on ebay forever and the whole waiting for payment thing, and deadbeat bidders is a pain in the ass. At if someone wants your item they pay for it right then and there, which rules!

So I figured what the hell...they can stay listed on there forever, for all I care...someday, someone will buy em. That was like 3 or 4 hrs ago...I just checked my email and EVERY SINGLE blu-ray is sold already LMAO...I just made a cool $225. So that's it, I'm SOLD....ebay can kiss my ass, from now on I'm selling my shit on!!!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Dinkin Flicka!

I have been using my new word now for about 3 weeks. It's only gotten worse, I'm up to about 50 times a day at least. It's all because of my addiction...YES! I'm an addict! I didn't really notice until I put it up as my status on another site and got a bunch of messages asking what the hell is "Dinkin Flicka"

Hi. My name is Randy, and I'm addicted to "The Office" DINKIN FLICKA!!

It's all Lora's fault, she's a total enabler and pusher! How bad is my addiction? Well I'm currently working on ANOTHER blog, totally dedicated to "The Office" Yep! You can find it RIGHT HERE. Become a follower, contribute. it's gonna be a fun site when all is said and done.

DINKIN FLICKA (don't act like it's not the coolest phrase EVER)
Made popular in a recent episode of "The Office", dinkin flicka roughly translates to "That's life".

It can be used in many circumstances and basically means, 'well, what can you do about it?.. that's life'
The expression is generally used in response to horrible circumstances and is often repeated in agreement by the one in the bad situation.

Friday, January 2, 2009


Yet another installment in the "Things That Make Randy Laugh" category. Enjoy...

It's OVER....Deal With It!!

Ok look....I'm not the grinch or anything. I'll admit that I'm not big on the holidays between November and December...but I'm not the grinch.

Here's the thing. It's January 2 and I STILL see Christmas decorations EVERYWHERE!! Take that shit down's OVER!! There is nothing more annoying than Christmas decorations in November and STILL in January. I just don't get it. And the excessive decorator...LIKE MY DAD...OMG!! Don't even get me started. The decorations in the movie National Lampoons Christmas Vacation? That's my Dad. Every year around November 1st, I start calling him Clark Griswold and I don't stop until he packs all that shit away for the year. I went to visit my Dad over the New Years holiday...His Christmas shit is still up and he hasn't even thought of putting it away. I was all like...while I'm here you want me to help you take all this shit down and put it out in your shed? He's's not time to come down yet. UUGGHH!!!

What the hell is wrong with putting up your Christmas decorations on December 15 and taking them down on December 27? That's LOGICAL!! What's wrong with you people? Anyway...I love my Dad but I couldn't wait to get the hell out of his Christmas house of horrors...he's got more shit than 5 people should have. I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO effin glad Christmas is gone and 350+ days away! Now if only everyone would just LET GO, the world would be right again.